I really goofed?
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| Sat, 12-11-2004 - 9:13pm |
I'm new here and I need to learn how to deal with letting go and moving on with my life. I had an A with MM for over 2 yrs. 6 weeks ago we agreed to end this. He is not the person I want in my life even though I love him deeply. He is very unreliable. He I found is a serial cheater. I am having a hard time adjusting to him being gone.About a year ago he gave me a locket on the outside it read my special one, inside 1 side said you are my heart, the other side I love you. I wore this locket all time. when we broke it off I took it off. Yesterday I put it on and wouldn't you know it, I passed him on the street in our cars. I reached up touched it and broke my restraint and called him. I ask him to pull over I had something to give him, he was being very abusive to me on the phone and I don't understand why. He refused which was good for me now that I think about it, the phone call was impulse. I told him I wanted to give it back to him he told me to throw it away it didn't mean anything now it never did. I started the 20 mile drive home and had it in my hand and finally just rolled down my window and threw it out. Tell me ladies, why is it that they can be so mean and hateful when we loved them so much. Word out is his wife is leaving him because he is with another woman, she knew about me so he has started another A. Why did I break my resolve and humiliate myself by calling him? I feel like such a fool now. Help me to understand how to get past this and get my life back to the happy loving person I was before all of this hurt came along. How long does this unbearable pain last. What can I do to help myself? Any imput will help especially from others going through the same thing.
Hurting in GA
Freshlife

Fresh
Don't worry yourself about the motivations of a person like that your healthy mind cannot understand that of a sick mind like his, he is what he is.
Start by accepting the truth that you made a mistake, you got sucked in by a professional liar learn from it and FORGIVE YOURSELF your human and your a woman so you have emotions that can be like rideing a wild horse some days.
To begin the healing NO CONTACT as hard as that will be for you it is a must, get rid of all momentos of the affair, delete e-mails IMSs VMs whatever you have.
Your going to go through some very crappy days there is noway around it, cry when you need to, try to keep busy in the short term to keep your mind off him, read lots of post post as often as you feel the need to vent, you may find keeping a journal can help deal with all the raw emotions.
Time and NO CONTACT are the great healers, how long depends on you really, it takes what it takes.
Post here rather then contact him, you will be glad you did the morning after.
Today you begin a freshlife.
Free
HI Fresh,
I have been posting and reading for about 7 days on this board, I am also at the moment going through a break up of my A of about 2.5 years. The OM has treated me with no respect, and I have broken my decision to leave him several times in the entire term of the A. I have humiliated myself too, by taking him back when I should have been strong enough to end it. Its been a long unhappy road with him, more tears and heartache than happiness and the story is very long. He turned out to be a player, who only wanted to meet me at his convenience. I am Married he is single. Problem is that I am so in love with him that I am having a real hard time letting him out of my mind.
After being on this board, I have realised that I am not alone here, there are many who have been through the same. I just come to the board when I miss him and within a few minutes of reading and writing here, I feel stronger and more confident. The moment passes, and I start thinking positive again about the end of the affair.
Just use this board to vent out any of your emotions, any of your feelings and we are all here to support you through it.
good luck
Trish
Can you believe that I told him this? How pathetic am I? I won't do that again. I know that their life is not like my dream at all...but I still get upset when I imagine him falling for his wife again. And it's not even any of my business! I am trying desperately to not think about what he's doing. But secretly, I hope that he is hurting.
I hate it when I do things that make the OM feel that I am upset. Its better to be cool, because then they get kind of thrown. Its usually them that are the "cool" ones right? So now i just stoped texting, talking.. its better that way Crissy. Do not show him you care anymore, and that will help you to feel like you are in power and that you are gettig on with your life.
All the best
Trish