I saw him today

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
I saw him today
15
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 9:48pm

So as if my day didn't make me feel irritable as it was...I decided to meet with my friend for a quick bite to eat and then to the movie.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 10:10pm

WAIT!

by NOT saying anything to him...You did the 'RIGHT' thing according to your choice.

So let's reframe this - turn it into what's going on with YOU:

Why do you feel you're back at square one?

Did you reach out, text, call email, in REACTION to seeing him?

What answers do you feel you want or are lacking?

Im sorry I have to ask - how long have you been NC?

What are you feeling?

GET IT OUT HERE....Dont get on that slope!!! :)

Here for you,

Michelle

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 10:21pm
Cait,

"why didn't I speak to him? I had my chance to get answers"

You've read Alice's post asking why she can't contact her xAP because you just responded to her ... so please, YOU tell US why NOT CONTACTING/SPEAKING TO HIM was THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO.

NC = NO CONTACT

I look forward to hearing your response (-:

With Care,

TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 10:32pm
Well...the last time I heard from him was that awful email July 22. I have not had any direct contact with him but have called his cell and hung up as late as 3 weeks ago.

I know not talking was the right thing to do but it just hurt so bad. I feel like I'm back at square one because seeing him was like a knife in my gut.

I just really want to ask why he insisted on hurting me in the end and if our friendship being thrown out with the trash is worth it.

I miss him...bit just the A part of him but all of it. 13 years. Poof.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 10:34pm
Sorry that was to read not just the A part of him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 10:39pm
Hi again,

"I just really want to ask why he insisted on hurting me in the end and if our friendship being thrown out with the trash is worth it."

I just want to understand this sentence ... are you meaning that if not for the way things ended, you were thinking that you could have gone back to being friends?

Cait ... you know that you could NEVER have gone back to being friends, right?

So regardless of how it ended, you BOTH threw away your friendship when you entered into an affair. And when in an affair, we ARE NOT friends ... friends don't encourage deceit, lying and manipulation ... friends don't steal from friends ... i could go on ...

((hugs))

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 10:52pm

Cait you said:

"We met eyes and then I looked away and turned and practically knocked down the people standing in line to get the hell out of there."

I think the eye contact was probably where you got sucked in momentarily.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 11:04pm

Cait- You don't realize this yet, but YOU ROCK!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 11:11pm

Im torn - in my response.

After Melinda just posted the Transactional Analysis (Drama Triangle) My inclination is to jump in and Rescue... :)

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 1:20am
Hi cait,

I hope after a good nights sleep that you will wake up feeling in a better frame of mind. Its good you did'nt say anything to xap and that you turned and left. Your first instinct was right and you obeyed it. If you read your question again and ask yourself was it worth it to lose a friendship and I am thinking you will say no then in the future you can build on this to keep your friendships preciouse. I know it hurts cait, but if you let this hurt go you can heal from what really matters in your life and what is most important, that being your family. Take care cait :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 6:38am

Cait,

When you turned and walked in the other direction, you spoke volumes to him. That's all that matters.

I know you've read enough to understand how the NC thing = no new hurts. You are hurting all over again because you had contact (although involuntary) just by seeing him. Imagine if you would have spoken to him?? Of course you wouldn't have gotten any answers, so

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.

Pages