I saw him yesterday and....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
I saw him yesterday and....
1
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 11:18am
Hey All,

So I have been trying to keep real busy to keep my mind focused on the NC. I have been doing great all until yesterday. Well yesterday I had a charity lunch and he was there too. I saw him right when I walked in. I kinda looked away hoping he didnt see me (childish I know) but he did and he quickly came up to me and kissed my cheek and said hello. I said a quick hello and moved on. The beginning part was a cocktail hour and silent auction so I was able to steer clear from him since there was so many people.

Then time to go in to sit down at the lunch and of course in this huge room his table was right next to ours. So he came up to our table and said hello to people sitting at my table who he knows. Then he comes up to me again rubs his hand on my shoulder and kisses me again and says "hello again". He then says "well if there is an empty seat maybe I can sit at your table" to one of my friends. Their was an empty seat at the time so he made himself comfortable for a bit and sat down. I was trying to be cool through out it all but gosh it was killing me. So finally the girl sitting in the chair he was sitting at came and he got up and hung around a bit more and then went to his table.

I was trying to avoid too much eye contact and while there it was fine. At the end of it all he came up to me kissed me goodbye and then we both walked away in seperate directions. So I think he expected an email/call something from me BUT as much as I wanted to I didnt do it. I think that may have surprised him since I am normally the first one to make that contact. It felt so weird. To go from what we were to me being so aloof w/ him. I felt empty inside when I left. Sad and empty.

Then last night I was watching the Friends Finale and I was so emotional. All these goodbye's making me crazy.

Then I feel bad I think does he know I hate being that way w/ him. Should I have been more friendly. Was he upset? When someone asked him from my table how are you doing his response was "as good as could be expected" was that for my benefit? Or am I a being a typical overanalysing female?

Just rambling thoughts...had to get this off my chest. I find it sad how we go from one extreme to another. But I guess thats the only way right? Right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 12:47pm
Yes, Dipss, it's the ONLY way. I think it's sad, and in my case a bit psychotic. I say that because one day I was still considering marriage, and the next I'm telling him its over for good and as much as I've wanted to, I've never caved and initiated contact with him, I've only responded once or twice to his attempts to contact me. It sounds to me like you did a wonderful job of handling the whole evening and Iwouldn't be concerned for a second about how he felt about your new "aloofness." First of all, you were in a setting where that was absolutely appropriate. It's not like, gee, you'd be sitting around crying in your drink and running to the ladies room and generally creating alot of chaos because you're in his company like a teenager. Second, if you're attempting NC, or even attempting friendship, there's no need to pay him any more attention than you'd pay anyone else. It's okay to be aloof sometimes.

I've got to share a funny thought I had while reading your posts. Its occurred to me that many people on this board have to come in contact with their OMM at work and in other professional and social settings. The idea of my OMM and I encountering each other in a professional or social setting is pretty unimaginable to me. He's a hockey player and I think he may have had his bell rung one too many times on the ice because he's just not the brightest bulb in the box if you know what I mean. Hot as h#ll, but not too bright. So that's one less challenge I have to deal with. Apart from our A, our paths never did, and probably never will, cross.

Hang in there, Dipss. It was good to hear from you. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10