I shouldn't have opened the door
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| Sun, 10-24-2004 - 4:19pm |
Anywho - feeling a little better by Saturday. Had a nice day w/H. Then around 2am, my cell phone rang. It woke me up and I went downstairs to check in case it was a friend who needed a ride home from the bar, or something. I didn't recognize the number - it was an out of state area code. The person didn't leave a message, so I figured it was a wrong number. Then it rang again. I let it go to VM, and again no message, so I called it back. It rang once and then XOM picked up. I hung up. He called right back, but I didn't answer. Again, no message.
What the hell??? He is in CA celebrating his bday w/ his friends. Why call me? And at 2am?? It can't be a booty call(as the last 2 midnite phone calls were - or so he said), because he's in another state! I'm so confused. He tells me he no longer has feelings for me (except for sexual), but then plays these games with me. I know I shouldn't have called him on Friday, as it just reopened the door for him to contact me. What should I do now?
Diva

Maybe your cell phone company can block calls from him, but that won't help when he calls from out of state! What the heck??!!!
As I recall, he is in his mid-20s, right? He probably has some strong feelings for you, which is causing him to make these crazy calls (remember the phone calls we made in our mid-20s??). I think it might be time for you to get tough in your communication style. Put away your "trying to be nice" voice and tell him in clear terms that he cannot call you anymore. Tell him it's over, it will never be again. Words along those lines that will make it clear.
I have the tendency to be the "nice girl" -- never want to hurt anyone's feelings. But that's why I end up sending mixed messages without meaning to do so. Could that be happening in your case?
Meg
"What should I do now?"
You should let those calls to VM and any others you don't know.
And turn your phone to silent at night or OFF. Any of your friends at bars needing a ride can either call your home # or call a cab.
If you happen to answer your cell and xOM is on the other end simply state "it's over, do NOT call anymore" and then hang up. Eventually he will stop calling. They always do if all they're looking for is sex.......sad yet true.
I did that about 3 weeks after exMM left, and I wish I'd done it sooner. Not b/c he called, but b/c I kept waiting for the stupid phone to ring. Now I don't have that worry, and it felt better immediately after I did it.