I Suck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
I Suck!
9
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 10:40am
Went exactly 48 hours, then I sent him a text. Pretty much begging him to come back to me. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Luckily he hasn't responded, so that's a good thing. Maybe he didn't even get it (his phone can be temperamental) and I at least got it out. Jeez! I could just STRANGLE myself! Oh well, no Braum's or Wendy's for me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 10:45am
Jellie-At least you didn't LITERALLY suck!! Sorry, couldn't resist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:14am
Actually I do, that's what got me into this mess in the first place :)

But thanks for the smile. I turned my phone off, not that he would call anyway. Feeling sick. Want to go home. But if I do, he's there. can NOT do this to myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:25am
Good for you for turning off your phone!!! That's a step & could have been hard to do, I know it would have been for me. Hang in there. =]
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:07pm
Nope, turning it off is easy, not turning it back on is the hard part. I should have left it in the car, or at home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 1:27pm
c'mon Jelliebean, lighten up! It's okay. We all cave once in a while. Just hang in there, and if he does respond, tell him that your brain was momentarily attacked by hormones and that you're just fine now and no longer need him, thank you very much. Hugs! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 1:57pm
Hang in there. When mine broke it off stating it was just too much, but he would still like to be friends, I responded to his email with sure we'll always be friends, much love and happiness to you and yours, will always be wishing you the best, blah, blah, blah. I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had ripped my heart to shreds plus I really do love him and care about him depsite everything. He didn't even respond to that email which really hurt. So guess what I did? I called him the very next day and asked if he was ok with everything and of course he said yes, it's good, how about you - well of course I lied and said yea it's good. Take care, bye. Ughh! Shot to the heart. That just confirmed how little I meant to him. I think we all go back and forth and start second guessing whether no contact is the right thing to do, but it definitely is. It's only been a couple days for me and what has helped me tremendously is reading all the messages posted. Try not to think about him. If he enters your mind, push it out and replace it with something positive and tell yourself you are doing the right thing. Whenever you think about contacting him, get on here and start talking. Just let it all out. We all understand what you are going through and are here to support you. Be strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 2:06pm
Thanks guys! I'm trying. Thing is I had been telling him I would never leave my H, but once it ended, I starting wondering why I was staying (other than financial security and my new house and his dog) and then it hit me, if MM had asked or if I knew it was what he wanted, I'd leave H in a heartbeat. I just had to tell MM, after agonizing over it forever. I had too many broken hearts where I wasn't honest with him and/or me. I decided I was an adult now and I needed to be honest. I at least ended it with "Sorry, I didn't think it would be this hard" Now fantasizing about leaving H and moving in w/ MM. At least it subsized over the urge to call him. And that is the best I can do for this minute. He may call on his way home, but I doubt it. Phone is still off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 6:00pm
Sweet Jellie Bean,

Don't beat yourself up! You had a weak moment, we all do! You can only control what you do from here on out. Stick to your decision of NC. Move forward with your head high and promise to only honor yourself from now on, not lower yourself because you feel week. It will pay off!!! You'll be ok, I promise. We are here for you so post away next time you get the urge to call him!

XOXO

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: jelliebean22
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 9:19pm
hi there Jellie--

We all slip up -- I had a post today about how ticked off I was at myself for tallking to him when he called. Now I have to start over on the NC. Tomorrow wil be day one for me. Again.

Did you feel OK the rest of the day? I hope you are feeling better after reading all the posts!

Meg