I talked to him yesterday....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I talked to him yesterday....
4
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 2:36pm
I just couldn't stop myself, I was so angry. It was not a pleasant conversation and now I know that I can no longer waste any time thinking about this man or caring, or wondering what might have been. He is determined to do whatever he can to avoid me, and to try to get her back. He did tell me that he does not blame me, he only has himself to blame,and that he does not hate me but does not want to speak to me. A few of the things he said were contradicting which left me feeling a little confused. Bottom line is I do believe he doesn't have bad feelings toward me, but needed to put on the "little show" so that I wouldn't hold out any hope. It worked. I'm tired of this..mentally exhausted. I cried last night until I couldn't cry anymore. I want to move away from this and put it behind me. I guess in some ways, I got my closure, although it didn't go quite as I'd hoped. There was no apology, no admittance of ever having had feelings. So I have to take my memories and pack them away and look forward to the future where hopefully someday I will meet someone who deserves me and can give all of themself to me. Thanks for listening.
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 2:57pm
Good for you, Cin. Sounds like you did a good thing and have now gotten the closure that you wanted. Move on from this the with the confidence that you did all you could have done. The time, place and person just weren't right. You don't have to stop loving him, you just need to stay away from him.

Hang in there and feel free to e-mail me if you want. I'm at iamhealingnow@yahoo.com

Hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 3:00pm
Cin,

I wish I could offer some comfort... Maybe this is your closure - the realization that he will never say what you want or need him to say. Because nothing he says will make you feel any better - if he says he loved you but is still choosing her, then it is hollow and rings false... If he says he didn't love you, that hurts too and you wouldn't believe him either... He is to blame for his mess - we can only be responsible for ourselves... HARD lesson - one I struggle with in my marriage and how much I can "make" my H change or even just put out effort...

There IS someone out there for you - someone who is ONLY yours and will treasure you for the incredible woman that you are... I believe this with all my heart...

Glinda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 3:09pm
HUGE HUGS -

I am sorry you are hurting. One day I think you will see his actions as a blessing. If he still wanted to remain freinds or continue the A life wouldnt be moving forward for you. You would still be stuck in misery. Today hurt - tomorrow look at it as the start of a new beginning. As you said - you deserve so much more!

Racy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 3:10pm
I am proud of you Cin. Hold your head high and keep moving forward. You are a strong woman. This whole experience shall only make you stronger.

Lyssa