I think he is bating me???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
I think he is bating me???
4
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 9:10pm

Well after 6 days of NC, I got out to my car tonight after work and there was a sticky note (with his work logo on it) stuck to my dash board. It didn't say a word. Just a smiley face. The weird thing here is that I don't even know what my emotions were when I saw it. I wasn't happy, wasn't sad or depressed, wasn't angry at all. Just kind of indifferent to it. I don't know why he decided to put it there all of sudden. Could he be trying to get me to contact him? It was his idea to break up, not mine. I have no desire to contact him, even after seeing that. I know that I won't!! It feels good to "have the last word" so to speak, by NOT contacting him.

And one more thing, Remember the letter I wrote that I was gonna give him (If he ever stopped over?) Well I have decided against giving it to him. Even though it was a "goodbye letter" I just couldn't figure out how to write it and MEAN it without wiggle room. So I decided it's best to just not give it to him at all. I think I should just continue with NC and if he does stop over for some reason I should just TELL him how it is. I'm not sure but I think I may be getting stronger about this whole thing. I felt pretty good all day, and it didn't change my feelings at all after finding the sticky note. I don't know what he's trying to pull with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 10:46pm

Hi Pal

Cannot seem to pinpoint the motive behind the sticky note and smiley face, but quite honestly something like this is pretty childish and he has no business to do this to you specially since he broke it off. Its like he is trying to keep things friendly or something like that. Just ignore it.

Now since you felt absolutely nothing, dont regress or cave in ok? If he comes over you will be vulnerable, because the minute you see him, feelings may come out but stick to your ground and tell him like it is. Be strong, you are already doing great from your reaction to the note.

Take care
Trish

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 1:53am

Pal

Could be he is trying to flip flop on his position.

Don't you not worth the cost IMO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 2:34pm

I look at it this way, little things like the sticky note, is the person trying to stay connected in some manner. He's feeling you slipping away with each day of NC, and it's driving him crazy. Even though you say it was him that wanted to end it..in many cases, none of us really WANT to end it. I'd say the reality of the situation is setting in with him, and that was an attempt to reach back out again.

Also, the letter you wrote and didn't send..I've found sometimes just writing a letter with everything you need to say in it, whether you send it or not, helps sooooo much. I can't tell you how many letters I've written to him during the course of our A, during angry times..some I've sent, and some I didn't. But either way, I felt alot of relief just putting it in black and white.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 7:16pm

It doesn't really matter what xOM is trying to do, does it?


Isn't the focus what are YOU trying to do with YOUR life?


Since you've accepted that the affair was over, (at his or your own insistence is not all that important any longer