I think he's dumping me anyway...
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I think he's dumping me anyway...
| Mon, 11-30-2009 - 7:33pm |
Well, I think the joke's on me-ever since my little mini breakdown, I have been so good-no contact anymore. I think I posted that I work with OM. Well, sometimes because of work, I have to contact him. I needed to talk to him about something work related-nothing personal. I texted him that I needed to talk to him about "work" and for him to call me when he gets a chance. Well, he texts back, "I hate when you have to talk to me about work!"

Okay, Mom...so your ego has taken a hit.
Mom
I am sorry that you are hurt. I understand, as I have been on the receiveing end of rejection many, many times from my xMM. It is your ego that is bruised. The only way at this point to avoid that is N/C. I know you work together and have to have contact but try not to take anything personally anymore. It has to be all business. I know when I have to see my xMM socially and act like all friendly it is going to suck but I am going to be prepared for that day. He will get nothing from my soul ever again.
Today was the first day in a long time that I didn't wonder when I would get a text from xMM. I knew I wasn"t going to get one and that felt so good. My BB was out all day....no worries who will pick it up. For me I feel like such a weight has been lifted off of me and I can now breathe.....honestly.
My goal...this about so-sad, my kids, my H , my "real" friends, my life....do things in this world that will make a difference in someone else's life. No more ugly lies, secrecy.....eecckk...the thought of what I did for this OM makes me sick. If you saw him you would not believe that someone like
You know what I think? I think if he has to end it with you for it to be over then do whatever works. Today, I am at 4 months NC (I honestly did not even realize today makes 4 months until I sat down and started typing). We had a DDay-he tried to throw me under the bus, but in the end it was all for the best. Its what I needed to get over this. His wife and I talked and when I found out the depth of the deceit it was completely unbelievable, but it was what I needed to be able to move on. I have days when I think I miss him, but then I tell myself, you can't miss someone you never knew, and I keep going.
I just think it doesn't matter so much how you get to NC or in your case LC---just get there. It hurts, but it gets better. You will make it.
It's 4 months today since I ended it with my xap. Unfortunately, I am not that far in my recovery as you are because we're are in LC (working together). Today I really exploded and told him to get over it and finally let it go, and stop coming to see me /talk to me...and I feel worse after it, ignoring him was actually the best. I so wish I could go NC and stop this torture, because even knowing everything I know I still care deeply for him.
But I am seriously considering changing my job at this point. If after 4 months I still can't move on and he does everything he possibly can to hold me back, then it's time to go.
I think one thing that has helped me is the depth of the deception to both me and his W. The lies he told, had to have been told by someone with no conscience whatsoever. Its all unbelievable to me. He also doesn't live near me and has absolutely no reason to come to my part of the state!! I had also been reading and reading this board before DDay, and had planned that this was going to be over by the end of this year.
I cannot imagine seeing him everyday. I know it must be very difficult for you, but you have held on for four long months--something to be proud of! I think probably a lot more difficult situation than mine.
Sorry MOM didn't mean to hijack!
MS
Well, I think the joke's on me-ever since my little mini breakdown, I have been so good-no contact anymore.
**the joke is on you- only if you let it be that way.
LovelyStarr
"Enlightment is not a matter of imagining figu
You don't have to be mean to him...unless all else fails.
well, yes, but by responding he is keeping the ball in the air. and if you have a moment where by responding you cannot do the 'hardest' but right thing, you might cave and crumble.
after all, the A is over when you say it's over. you are not obligated to answer him on FB.
LovelyStarr
"Enlightment is not a matter of imagining figu