I think I already know the answer...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2011
I think I already know the answer...
7
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 7:33pm

So the female trio I play in has a big gig this Friday. It's our first really serious concert, and tix are selling well and I'm starting to get kinda psyched.

The gig is about a block away from xAP's old house.

Not sure how often xAP is there anyway, though as far as I know his W and kids still live there. I heard a few months ago that he moved in with his new GF "part time." Not sure what that means but of course it doesn't matter.

One of the ladies in my trio, who also knows him and knows what happened, ran into him at some point recently, and he pulled her aside and wished us good luck at the gig and said he knows the place and he loves it. OK? I know from her that he's been laid off again. That's all I know. N I keep wanting to ask: Did he say anything about me? Did he say anything else? Where did you see him? Etc., etc., etc.

But I'm pretty sure I should not ask. It won't make me feel any better to know anything else about him, right? If he feels bad about me it will make me feel bad. If he doesn't give a ___ it will also make me feel bad. I list him a silent candle at church today, that's all I thought I could do. I assume, also, that that little tidbit should probably reassure me that he won't show up at the gig. (Which would be awful--this I know.)

I'm a month away from being a Vet.

Why do I feel guilt at not wanting to even ask? I think his life may be falling apart and I feel sort of guilty that I'm relieved to not be a part of it anymore.

Like I said, I already know what you guys are gonna say. I just need you to remind me. NC means no fishing, even third-party fishing, right? Because it won't go anywhere good to know any more than I already do.

Right? Right? Right?

--Birdsong

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 7:54am
Nice to see you Bird! :) You just keep walking the walk.girlie. We are.getting there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Mon, 11-05-2012 - 1:16pm

..oh good grief..I can't even quote right..

..That is who I am and I'm so blessed to at least know that much about myself..

or something along those general lines. THAT about sums it up. It's priceless to know, isn't it?

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Mon, 11-05-2012 - 1:15pm

 An honest life and peace in my heart. I can't have the second without the first and I am so blessed to at least know that about myself..

Think that about sums it up!

Enjoy your awesomeness!

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2011
Mon, 11-05-2012 - 11:06am

Thanks to you wise ones. The getting of wisdom can be a very painful process, we all know that. I assure you that I am in a much better place than I was 11 months ago. And what a gift to have some company on the journey.

An honest life, and peace in my heart. I can't have the second without the first. That is who I am, and I'm so blessed to know that much about myself.

Hugs to you especially, Angie. Wish you could all come to the gig Friday night--we are gonna tear the house down. In a nice, ladylike way, of course.

--Bird

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
Mon, 11-05-2012 - 8:40am

HI Sweet Birdsong-

Yes, you already know the answer to this.  I know it is SO tempting to sniff that crack pipe, but don't do it.  Info about him will only make you feel worse, no matter which way it goes.  White knuckle it through this and it will pass and you will be glad you didn't get more details. Once you know things, you can't un-know them so don't open that door.

Hugs to you!

Angie

Formerly heartacheafter7years
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 9:05pm

Exactly!

It is exactly the same as going onto Facebook and looking.  It is exactly like stalking him.  It is exactly like driving by his house to see who is there. It is exactly like driving by his new squeezes house to see if anything is happening.  It is exactly like crawling through his back yard to peek into his window.

Nothing good can come of it.

Be strong.  Be strong for you, and all of your family and friends. Avoid at any costs any type of discussion, thought or sight of him if possible. 

It's just better.

I'm pulling for you.

I'm waiting at the station with your Vet Medal!  It's been a tough journey, don't blow it now.

 

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 8:15pm

>NC means no fishing, even third-party fishing, right? Because it won't go anywhere good to know any more than I already do.<

A very wise woman once posted those words...not too long ago, in fact. Laughing  

And yes, my records indicate that she should start packing to board the train for her arrival date on 12/2/12.

I sure would hate to see her train derailed.

((hugs))

Clarity 

Community Leader,

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