I think I am finally ready to call it quits
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I think I am finally ready to call it quits
| Mon, 02-28-2011 - 8:43am |
I've been with my AP for about a year, PC for about 6 months. I am married 24 years, he is single, but newly engaged. Started as a FWB, then my emotions got the best of me.I've been dealing with the bulls*** of the A . The secret meetings, the texts, the secret phone calls. It all gets a little draining trying to balance it with my home life. Since he got engaged, things have changed. He is obviously pulling away. He keeps saying he still wants to be with me, so I just hang in there. But what I am feeling now is a complete absence of respect, truthfulness. He sets up time for us to be together, then either cancels last minute or just never texts me to confirm. I am left waiting and wondering. Then I get some bull**** explanation the next day about his phone not working or something came up. He doesn't return texts half the time,and cuts me off when we are on the phone saying "i'll call you back", but he never does. He can be so cold to me. Now I understand he is engaged...but why does he even lead me on? Just be a man and say you've moved on! I am so over it. Not that A's are ever okay anyway, but for me, I feel like when it gets to a point where he is disrespecting me, I need to take a hard look at things. I've been putting up with this for a couple of months now, and I think I'm done. I deserve better. I have a H at home who loves and respects me. It's ironic to say...but I would never ever date a man who treats me the way my AP has been treating me. I'm at work today and he is here. I don't even want to talk to him, much less look at him. I feel the anger inside just simmering. I don't think I can end it with him verbally. I just need to walk away and not look back. It's finally time to turn back to my H and repair the damage I have done. Thank you for your support. I have a feeling this is going to be a rocky road.....

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Blueclouds,
I am so sorry that you're feeling the way you are right now.
((BlueClouds))
I know you are hurting right now with just the idea in your head that your A is over,
Hi, blueclouds,
you and I are in similar situations - I am married 25 years and my xAP was single, but reunited with his GF shortly after our breakup (all 3 of us work together).
My xAP totally turned his back on me after he reunited with his GF.
Here you will find everything you need to help you on that rocky road - advice, inspiration, some occasional tough love, and the support of an amazing group of people. Every one of us has been where you are now (though your situation feels unique right now, you will soon come to see that it's the same circus, different clowns) and we are living proof that you can get out of this hole and that a happier, truer life is waiting at the top for you.
Read lots, restore your belief in yourself through small acts of love for your family, friends and community, be kind to yourself, and post often. You can do this!
Sunshine and smiles
Kat.
Great about your talk with H and that he supports your decision re. IC. You've got a very understanding man there, so don't ever take this for granted again.
The love of your H is enough, honey. It's not loving yourself enough that got you into this mess. Keep reading and learning. You have made a great start and I am very proud of you.
((Hugs))
bluecloud.
Breathe - take deep breaths.
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