I thought he was diffrent
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| Thu, 01-27-2005 - 8:40pm |
Yep, i thought he was diffrent, I thought he actualy respected me and cared about me because the Day before yesterday, the last time we had contact everything was great, he even told ne he loved me.
Here's my story. I have been involved with M/M for three months now. He lives in another state so our affair was emotional but about to become physical. This isn't just one of those online affairs, this guy is actualy a friend of my husbands and we met last summer and we just clicked. We exchanged email addresses and the next thing I knew we were online two or three nights a week professing our love for each other.
We had planned to meet up tomorrow and have IC for the first time. I noticed in the past several weeks that he had been distant towards me in that he wasent calling me or online as much as before but I just chalked it up to him being busy with his Job or maybe our relationship had just fallen into that routine where he was comfortable. I had planned on going to my Mothers for a visit and being that he lives an hour away from where my mom lives we planned to hook up. He would never give me a definate plan on what time and where we would meet, only that he was looking forward to being with me. He told me it was possible that he was going to have to be out of town tomorrow but he would let me know and in any case he would leave me a vm or an email naming the time and place. That is the last thing he said to me Tuesday night other then I love you Before he logged off Yahoo messenger.
Yesterday there was no email or vm and I started to get a little nervous but I figured he would contact me today. I called him at lunch time and left him a vm to call me to let me know what the plan was, I have not heard not one word from him, no email, no offline message's and no phone call. To say the least I am devestated. I could have handled it better if he would have just called me and said hey, I dont feel right about doing this or I have to go out of town but to just not say anything......... I feel cheap and used. I would have respected him more if he would have just been honest with me. I thought he was my friend, but I guess i have been played for a fool.
Has this happend to anyone else? I would love some insight or just some words of comfort right now. I have cried so much today that my body is sore. This was my first and last A. I dont think I could go through this again. All the Lying and sneaking around my Husbands back, Maybe this is just Karma comming back to bite me.

Tree
"I don't think I could go through this again. All the Lying and sneaking around my Husbands back, Maybe this is just Karma comming back to bite me."
I know this is not what you want to here BUT YOU GOT REAL LUCKY, your pride may be hurting over this but you had now were to go but down if you had started IC with this guy, these things do not end happly, be glad that he chickened.
On the subject of FRIENDSHIP, a real friend does not involve you in lieing cheating and sneaking around, they do not encourage you to break VOWS made before family friends and if you believe before God they PROTECT you from doing these things, real friends care about you and steer you in the right direction not a self serving one.
JMHO
Free
What are you going to do when he calls? Are you going to pick up where you left off or are you going to say enough?
Trust me, he will contact you again, give you a whole bunch of excuses, apologize profusely and then what? Status quo? Maybe now is the time to look at your marriage and find out what's wrong with it and fix it. More importantly, look within yourself and find out why,with perceived problems in the marriage, you chose adultery as a coping mechanism.
Suffice to say, he will call again, he will apologize profusely and give you a boat load of excuses. Then, the ball will be in your court.
He showed his true colors early in the game. Reeling you in emotionally until you were hooked, then bailing when it suited him. I agree with the others, he WILL contact you again. But given the way you are feeling right now about his lack of consideration as you wait for his next email or phone call that never comes, should be a wake-up call to you. If you allow him back in your life, believe me, he will leave you hanging time and time again, and each time he does, you will grow more anxious and develope a pattern of behavior that YOU will be left to endure.
Once he knows he can manipulate you and you will always be there to be understanding of his excuse, he'll continue to do so. Trust me, been there.
I am Done with him, even if he calls or emails me again. I would still like to be able to ask him why he could do this to me and then tell him what kind of person I think he is.
Do you think thats a good Idea or should I just cut my losses and let it go.
I agree, he is no friend of mine nor my husbands. Friends dont treat friends like this. I agree it was stupid to get involved with him in the first place. On my long drive home back from my Moms, I vowed to myself to work on my marriage, to try and figure out where things went wrong and why I resorted to having this fling with My H friend.
I am truly blessed that this IC thing did not work out. My heart is shattered right now and I have cried all day but the tears are not over him, he is not deserving of them, the tears are over what I have Done and how Stupid I was. I did allow this to happen and I'm mad more at myself then at M/M.
I cant believe that I risked my marriage over someone who obviously does not give a crap about me. I Keep telling myself that it is no great loss for me that the only loss is his......
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Treehugger,
You made a mistake.
Dear tree,
There are Men out there that get pleasure in stealing other Mens wives, its that Alpha Male thing, he accomplished what he wanted and got you to play like putty in his hands.I wouldnt even give him the time of day to give you an excuse why he didnt show or call, you are above all of that, you made a poor judgement call in this guy, dont beat yourself up, improve yourself and move on. Good Luck
onthegochick