I used to have a different name :), hi Clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2010
I used to have a different name :), hi Clarity
7
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 10:08am

xxx

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 12:29pm

Of course I remember you, (((it'stime)))!!  Well, it helped you gave me a little background  :)

Good to hear from you...better even to know you are through being manipulated...better yet that you are through setting yourself up for hurt.  The kids are grown...no more excuses to stay in contact.

Before I forget, I want to urge you to burn that diary...simply because I'm afraid someone could happen upon that incriminating evidence.  Unless you have it in a really safe place and need to look back to remind youself how bad things have been...yet, there is no safe place really.

Kudos to you for not contacting him over those three weeks.  I really hope you are able to move because I don't see an end in sight.  It's been so back and forth, no one is believing anyone anymore about staying away...it would take a lot of doing to unteach each other.

You understand what this is all about...the addiction...so you know what you need to do.  Gear up to do battle.  Stay close to this Board.  It's slow around here these past few months since ivillage did a major switchover which caused The Great Crash and Burn destroying our Healing Library, the ability to retrieve old posts from the Archives, and we've lost many along the way due to all the aggravation.  But some of us have managed to stay connected.

The Healing Library has some new info...please check out that Baggage Reclaim site...it has something for everyone.

And yes, I am Clairebar on the new Board, and thank you for your kind words.

NC may suck at times, but it's way better than the alternative, right?  RIGHT. 

We are expecting...well, it's started already...a monster of all storms...one for the records and I hope I will not lose power.  I am here so feel free to keep posting and talking it out.

You can do this, it'stime...it's time ;)

another (((hug))) for good measure.

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2010
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 1:06pm
Thanks Clarity, glad you remember me :). Do you also remember my other user name (how to get out) or was that too long ago? ;) no worries about the diary, it's in my secret email account, no one knows the password. I need it to reread how bad it all was, because I tend to forget about the bad times :/ It's really sad that the changes to iVillage have destroyed so much :(. I couldn't even find the posts anymore that I used to post under my old user name. Thankfully , I read all that was in the Healing Library before the big fall out, and Baggagereclaim is one of my favorites too. It's definitely time, I have been trying to get out for years Thanks again for your welcome, and be safe during the storm!!! :( :( :( :( :( Big hugs!!!!
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 2:25pm

Wow...something REALLY weird just happened.  While I was typing my response back to you, suddenly I was typing in the text of my first response as if I had clicked on 'edit'...I hear Twilight Zone music.

Oh yes, I remember your initial user name and once you refreshed my memory, it all came back to me :)  Seems like a long time ago.

We are hunkered down and have all the supplies we need to survive.  Except...if the power goes out, how will I survive without my computer...oh no!!!!

Hope you are in an area that is not effected by they what they are saying is to be the worst storm of this century.  Yikes!

Glad to hear you are utilizing the Baggage Reclaim site...it is awesome.  If people don't want to believe or listen here...and we still get a rash of non-believes and non-listeners, then perhaps they'll finally 'get it' reading there.

So far, I'm still here.

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2013
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 3:49pm

Hey It's Time!

I am going to send you a PM. letting you know because most of the times it does not show you that you have one. :)

WA

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2010
Sat, 02-09-2013 - 1:57am

LOL, Clarity @ you hearing Twilight Zone music!!! :) Yes it has been a very long time ago since I last posted here under my HTGO name. Here's some more to get your memory back, this is what you wrote to me a long time ago, I saved it:

****** It's good you came here and were honest...it shows that you still want to hold yourself accountable. But, I have to be honest too. I am upset. I'm upset because when woman perform such an act on a man who hardly deserves and in 3 minutes flat just because of a kiss it is a sign of disrespectful...both yours and his...towards you.

Where is your self respect, woman! To tell you the truth, I could not believe how often bjs were mentioned throughout the MM code thread in the HL; and after reading it (and I am no prude, believe me:), it left me with the sense (along with the sense I get from affair outcomes) that, sadly many women (I was once one of them) don't seem to know much about what makes a woman 'special' or respected in a man's eye. Believe me, it's not a woman's willingness to give a bj and in most cases, as we have learned, it won't be the woman who colludes with him in betrayal.

I bartend at a local VFW Post, and I hear the guys talk. Sure, they love it and will receive it from any woman willing to give it, but it DOES NOT make her 'special'...certainly not the 'special' we are seeking. There's a big difference in how they look at the woman who does it as a needy manipulation or because of low self-esteem, and the woman who offers it up as a gift, which comes as a result of a love that he has nutured with respect and good intentions. Some men, such as yours, HTGO, will take and take and exploit a woman's poor sense of self-respect and self-worth. I'm willing to bet that you didn't even get *yours*. There are no more feel-goods for you in this affair. I'm sorry for being this harsh, but your situation has taken a turn for the worse in that he probably thinks you are back in; and now he knows that with perseverance he can wear you down...and at least get a bj out of you. I'm thinking that, if you can't get a handle on this, I think your next step might have to be to fess up your affair to your husband so you can be united against its continuation. You messed up, but tomorrow is a new day to make life right. Please...please, promise yourself that you will never demean yourself like that again...k? Now here's a BIG ((((((((HUG))))))) because I was kinda tough, but it's only because I care...I hope you know that. Clarity *******

I'm not in an area that's affected by the storm, I'm safe. I hope you're okay!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2010
Sat, 02-09-2013 - 1:57am
Thanks Wideawake!! I replied :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008

How IT (formally HTGO),

You know I remember you well! I’m sorry you have had to go back and forth so much over the years. I’m glad to read you are through giving in. I know you have always wanted to move. I really hope you, DH and your family can move away. I will PM you to find out more about the possibilities of where you might be moving.

Good to see you on and posting,

E1

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.