i want help to break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2004
i want help to break up
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 12:15pm

hi,
i am girl and having a realtionship for 7 years. so during this realtionship he proposed me to have sex with another men in front of him. kind of three person in a single room . it was his fantasy and he wanted to full fill it.
i was so confused and i did it for him.it was my biggest mistake of life.
after that from my resources i figured it out that he also had sex with the same third man . this he did in secretly alone.
but this thought is killing me that if he had sex with the man then he is a gay. but in some thinking i am also like oh may be he was expermenting himself.
i feel so disgraced after that. he always says that he loves me a lot. but i dnt know as he make me to do this bad thing and this is a biggest disgrace for a women kind.
i feel so bad about it.this means he does not respect me and thinks me like a whore.

i was not thinking about it any more but one day i met this guy. he become friend and we really came close. and now i am in love with him so purly.he is very good and i love him very much. then i told him everything and he was angry with me a lot. he is really gentle man he love me more then i have ever seen anyone loveing someone.
he told me to confess to god for the biggest sin i have done. he made me realise more what i have done wrong. and he told me that he will forgive all my mistake unless i will not do it again . and he wants to be with me forgetting the past and to make future.

ok as i am still with the 7 year guy but i am not in love with him , i am in love with the another boy who he wans to marry me, he is very stong lover and so geneuin.
with the 7 year boy i feel obligated because of 7years and that is why it is talking a lot for me to break up with him.
i am not able to leave the 7 year relationship as i think of the 7 year boy as my brother and i am not atracted to him as my man. but for the second boy i am soo attracted and so much in love. he is sacrificing a lot for me.. but as i am with the first 7 year guy this makes him to be angry a lot of time. and i do not want to live without the secong boy at all.i really love him.
this is just a brief of my problem.
the first thing is that is my first bf a gay.
and what i should do to make the second boy with which i am in love to be fully hers.
please anyone has any comments ...