I was listening to the radio...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I was listening to the radio...
11
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 10:37am
... and this song came on. It's not new, and I had heard it many times before, but the lyrics REALLY smacked into my consciousness this time, and I just wanted to post it... it says so much of what I have been going through and what I need to END... the pain in trying to end it...

Barely Breathing (Duncan Sheik)

I know what you're doing

I see it all too clear

I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears

You really had me going, wishing on a star

But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far

I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn

It must've been that yesterday was the day that I was born

There's not much to examine, there's nothing left to hide

You really can't be serious, if you hafta ask me why

I say goodbye...

Cause I am barely breathing

And I can't find the air

Don't know who I'm kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

I don't suppose it's worth the prize and worth the price

The price that I would pay

Everyone keeps asking, what's it all about?

I used to be so certain and I can't figure out

What is this attraction? I only feel the pain

There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame

Will it ever change?

Cause I am barely breathing

And I can't find the air

I don't know who I'm kidding

Imaginging you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price

The price that I would pay

But I'm thinking it over anyway...

I've come to find

I may never know

Your changing mind

Is it friend or foe?

I rise above

Or sink below

With every time

You Come and go

Please don't come and go

Cause I am barely breathing

And I can't find the air

I don't know who I'm kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don't suppose it's worth the prize and worth the price

The price that I would pay

But I'm thinking it over anyway...



Thanks for letting me post this... for me, it's so strange because I didn't used to listen to lyrics a lot - now it seems most of the songs on the radio apply to me and I listen so much more...

Glinda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 11:00am
Glinda, turn of the radio, right now sweetie. DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY MUSIC AT ALL if you can, especially the ones that act as a trigger. I have tuned out mine and all I do is news radio or classical music. HUGS
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 11:42am
Glinda,

Thankyou so much for sharing that =) I, have heard that song many times, too, but have never thought about the lyrics or knew them. Sometimes it does feel so painful for me that I feel like I can't breathe. I am trying desperately to get it through my thick head that he (XOM) is NOT worth the extremely high price. I have so many holes in my own heart that were there before him and are just gaping holes now that he is gone. I confess I had a minor slip last week in n/c with XOM, and it left me more confused and searching for closure that will likely never come. I read one of your posts yesterday about someone who was considering going to see the XOM to get closure, and your response stuck with me about how he likely couldnt give her that. Thanks again for posting this :) (((BIG HUGS))) ~Mel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 11:48am
I've heard that song many times and have never really paid attention to the lyrics before. It is very fitting isn't it? I agree that I listen to lyrics of songs a lot more and can relate to so many of them!!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 12:28pm
Hi there, New life :)

Just wanted to add my two cents to what you said... I know for me when lyrics to a song affect me, it makes me feel like WOW, someone who doesnt know me or what I'm going through wrote this about their own experience; Yet, they just expressed to a "T" how I feel. That makes me realize I am not alone or wrong to feel the things I do. There is a time and a place for this, sure, and even in listening to the radio, I agree that there are triggers. If a song pertaining to or was part of the relationship is played, that ahould probably be tuned out til your ready. In the end, everyone has their own way of walking through the feelings, like I know sometimes for me, if I'm home alone and haven't been able to express sadness I'm feeling over the loss, then I'll play downbeat music and have myself a good cry. I feel better when it's over and I know I've just cried one less cry before I'm over him for good. Thanks for listening (((HUGS))) to you ~Mel








iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 1:21pm
We all have our own way of coping Mel. I guess if you listen to the music that help you get over the EMA then go for it. I am soo with you on trying-anything-to-get-over-it and move-on-with-life-already! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 1:34pm
Hi Glinda, I never realized till I was in an affair and ending it just how many songs there are like this! It helped me to see that we truly aren't alone! I've always wondered just how many people I know have been through the exact same thing but, because of the secrecy, I never knew. Don't let it make you sad! Read and re-read those words. It not only speaks of the pain it also speaks of making the right decision to walk away! I hope you're doing better every day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 2:42pm
I'm with ya, newlife! Anything that helps, doesnt matter why or how silly, stand on your head if it helps, lol, long as its a healthy way of coping. :) Hope you're having a happy afternoon :) ~Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 3:42pm
I have not tried standing on my head thing yet, you think that will "cure" me of my disease? LOL I am as usual having a wonderful afternoon. Thanks for asking Mel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 3:54pm
Thought ya might like that one, lol...glad to hear your day is going well ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 4:10pm
Mel,

I'm glad you liked the lyrics...

And I agree with what you said to NL - that there is a time to let things out, and it helps us feel less alone when someone else that we don't even know can sum up our feelings so fittingly...

Triggers are so different, IMHO... There are a few songs that I do just TURN OFF that radio when they come on. Songs that I mentioned to him or that I listened to when I missed him... but I think the one I posted, for me, is different... it just really said how I feel sometimes... Especially about how it's not worth the price but we think about it anyway, right?

Glinda

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