I was so fed up

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
I was so fed up
1
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 8:58pm
So I wrote this final letter to him. I've been posting here for a while but I wanted to change my screen name for this because it's bad. I left this on his car at work. I just thought of all the years I've wasted on him and how he just gets to carry on with his life, how he can just act like nothing ever happened between us. I didn't want his last memory of me to be how I had such a hard time getting over him and how I just rolled over and turned the other cheek each time he hurt me. I've been struggling with NC for the past few months and each time I broke down. After this there will be more breaking down, on my end or his. I'm still hurt though and I hate to admit that I do still miss him. But I can't take being on this roller coaster anymore and he really was just stringing me along for so long. I don't think he did it intentionally, he probably believes he has done the best he could with his W and how he dealt with me. But his best is not good enough for me and it's time to let it go.

"You know the least you can do is return my damn phone calls. That is so rude of you. Actions speak louder than words and your actions have shown me that you are lying manipulative f***k with the warmth and compassion of a toad. Maybe your background does have a major affect on your behavior, but I’ve been thru a lot of s**t myself and I don’t trip on your level. Unless you shed some of that ghetto mentality you will always have that restlessness of a rat in a cage. I’m not going to waste time contacting you again. I called you last time because I needed you—in a way I still do—but I’m not going the play the little b***h role you keep trying to dish out to me. It’s obvious you are not as sincere as I thought you were, you’re not even worth the paper I’m writing this crap on. I’m doing anyway because I just HATE to think that you think that you got over on me in anyway. The way you operate is really low. GET BENT!!"


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 4:16am
It sounds like you said some things which needed to be said. I know you are in pain, and I'm sorry it hurts this bad, but you did the right thing in letting it out in a non-violent way with him. Hopefully you feel you made your point.

It is hard, but I hope you have the strength to walk away. At this point, if you call him again or try to hunt him down, he can get you for harrassment, and that would cause you a world of hurt.

Talk to friends, write your feelings out in a journal, and take care of yourself.