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I wasn't looking
| Mon, 05-24-2004 - 2:58am |
I'm a 36 year old man, and as far as I knew, until a few months ago, very happily married. Over the last several months I started sharing basic relationship feelings about my marriage and hers with the wife of a close friend, and it has caused me to look at things in my own relationship very differently. Instead of being happily married, I now feel like I am missing a very key physical element in my marriage. See, my wife is a great friend, mother, and overall a very likeable person. But she isn't into me, not in a sexual way. Sure, we have sex, and she enjoys it when we do, but she rarely instigates. I have never in 10 years of marriage been turned down when I make the move, but it seems that if we are going to have sex, it's up to me. Well, this "Friend" seems to be quite opposite. She is very sexual. In her relationship, sex is a key ingredient, and important enough to her that it is a priority to create a sexual environment in her home several times each week, i.e. candles, music, lingerie, etc. For us, bed is bed, that's where we sleep, and I can roll on top if I want/need to, but she could really take it or leave it anyway. When I go out with the boys, I am often approached by very attractive women, and though it isn't difficult for me to say "no thanks, I'm married", I am really starting to wonder what the reason is that my own wife doesn't want to jump my bones when these complete strangers are openly making advances. Help me understand!

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In my case I love XMM deeply and he loves me. But his W found out about us and in the end it was decided we should cut contact and put ourselves 100% into our Ms - see if we can make them work. It hurts like hell but we both know it is the right thing to do.
Thanks for letting me share!
Peace
GB2
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