If u really loved me - Hate V-day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
If u really loved me - Hate V-day!
6
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 1:21am
I was in bed, dozing off with the TV on.. Not too long after midnight, I get a text from him. "I am not asking you to respond but wanted to let you know that you are tattooed in my heard. You will always be loved....." Laughed at it and deleted it, but then it suddenly brought whole lot of emotions.



WHY, WHY, WHY??? If he really loves me, knowing how much of hurt it caused me... WHY does he make me re-live the dark and sad emotion I'm trying to put behind?????



I for a second wanted to give him hell back by texting something nasty. But I need to follow "NC" rule 100% and from my past break-up attempts, now I know it's the only thing that works.



I think I'm frustrated b/c I don't get to say something back when I feel I was mistreated.

I was so tired of A after trying to break up so many times in last 4 years to the point I lost the count. I wanted him but not in this way.



I've been doing so well this time for past 3 weeks. No tears, no depression... till tonight.

Now I feel like I took a few steps back.

I just hope I can be strong when this happens again and maybe a few more times.



I will just have to keep telling myself that my SILENCE is heard LOUD.

Sorry for my rambling around but I had to come here to vent so I don't make a mistake.

Now going to bed p-ed off.



Still, Happy Valentine's day everyone!





M&M
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 1:54am

Hey M,

I'm proud of you for not responding! How tough it must be to not say something, anything...but you are right. Silence speaks volumes! And as you know, if he loves you then he wouldn't be doing this to you.

Keep your head up high and walk away. The pain will only get worse if you respond. Trust me, btdt too many times myself to know that its best if YOU were the one to walk away rather than them.

Happy V-day! Go get your nails done or treat yourself well, you deserve it.

2010 Pictures, Images and Photos


"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 3:27am

meandmyself

Just remind yourself (I've been doing the same!) - "Silence is dignified, silence is dignified". Just dig deeper than you ever have before when he contacts you in any way, and try and think of those long term goals of freedom and control over your own life. And no new hurts....

Maybe you could block his number? I can't do that where I live, but if I could I would for sure! Another thought would be to make sure you turn your phone off at least an hour before going to bed - that way your ensured of not taking stuff like this with you when you go to sleep!

Take care...you're doing wonderfully, it might feel as though you've taken steps back but you definitely haven't xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 2:37pm

Hey, M&M~(I love M&Ms by the way :o) Why I think you needed to know that is beyond me....


Your silence is SCREAMING at him. I hope you haven't responded.


The WHY WHY WHY??? would he do this??....it's about them and

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 5:25pm
Thanks all for your encouragement and support.
It was definitely a little harder in the morning with the left-over feeling from last night.



But I took a long bath and stayed busy.

I have no intention of replying.


I failed so many times before. But I can say I've been getting stronger every break-up attempt and it has taken a little more for him to get me back each time. And I'm hoping he won't be successful this time. We used to work together and it made it so hard, looking at him broken down & depressed at work. But I started a new job last year and thankfully, my work keeps me so busy so there is little chance for me to drift away with fond memories.



On this Valentine's day, I want to give a shout-out to all of us who are in the same battle and hope we all learn to respect and love ourselves.



Happy V-day again!

M&M

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 9:06pm

Hi M -

I just wanted to thank you for these posts. I, too, am struggling to get over a long A that has ended many times before. I struggled with 2 fishing attempts in the last 4 and a half months and sometimes it's hard to remember that silence is often better than amy response we could possibly write or say. Like you, I am commited to making this the LAST time and only NC can make that work. Thanks again for sharing your strength and happy V day.

~Gal

"Once and for all, I'm far away.

I hardly believe, finally the shades... are raised."

Pearl Jam
NC since October 2, 2009.

&nbsp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 7:32pm

glib, sneaky, manipulative ba$t@rds, aren't they? they know where the soft underbelly is, can smell the blood in the water. the notion that we were the "one and only"--that we were and are irreplaceable, unforgettable.--ooooh, that gets a gal every time. hogwash.

ever notice, like i did, that when he seemed to have the upper hand, the tender and heartfelt words were a little scarce? and when he felt he was losing his grip on me, the sweet, mushy stuff poured forth like a busted sewage pipe! :D

you bet your silence screams at him, M&M, and here is what it's saying:
"STEP OFF, JACK!"
lillie

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...