If you never had a d-day...
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If you never had a d-day...
| Tue, 09-14-2010 - 11:47am |
I know this topic has been discussed before, but I wonder how those of us who never had an official day are faring? for me, it is a struggle. i've disclosed a lot to my H, but not the whole sha-bang. part of me is like, i'll feel relieved if i tell him. another part says it will only hurt more, because he gave me the opportunity to come clean and i didn't. another part of me is saying it will bring us closer, another tells me it will create more distance. and of course, the cowardly part of me, the one that pushed me in to the A in the first place, says "screw the princple. i'm too scared to tell him cos he might leave me".
what are everybody else's thoughts on the topic?

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No D-Day here. I would not tell my H, because like others here, he would be very hurt. I also asked myself that if the tables were turned and he had the A but was truly out of it and recommitted to M in his mind, then I would not want to know.
>>there were multiple occasions on which DH asked me straight up "listen, just tell me everything"<<
IMO, that in itself is a d-day, Exi.
He knows enough to know that there is still more to know.
No D-day - but only because H and I were already considering D and I was straight up with H from the beginning.
exitentialist82-
I totally agree. If directly asked, I would know better than to lie. In a 20 year marriage, we have never randomly asked "Are you seeing someone else?" So if the question came up then he already knows something.
It was reading D-Day stories on this board and MAS board that made me want to end A. My heart really hurts for those who have to go through it- your stronger than I am.
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