to Iggy and everyone else --bargaining

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
to Iggy and everyone else --bargaining
5
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 9:45am
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 10:01am

Now DATS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!! There is my shining Alice, chile you made my saturday morning already.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 11:35am
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 12:11pm
Hi Alice,

It's good you were able to compare the book you are reading to what you experienced with xap. The further you go with leaving xap behind and learning about what caused you to develop your scars without him being a factor in your thoughts will be a great discovery for the most important person being you! I have found the hardest work is within myself and not anything to do with xap. I am doing alot of battling with my inner self and I am starting to win some of those battles, it's slow going but I am positive in time I will be a true warrior! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on scars and that they are beautiful and not to be despised. You are survining and will continue to! Have a nice relaxing weekend:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 12:25pm

My mighty little friend, Alice. ((((hug))))

Keep the focus on yourself. I sent you a little message with some suggestions. Girl, you and I started about the same time months and months ago. We both failed twice before. We will both succeed this time. I LOVE that you are actually counting this time. I didn't count before, either. I am on day 26 NC!!! This is the longest I've ever been NC!! Woo-Hoo.

To all newbies and lurkers, it really and truly does get better with time and NC. I promise you with all my heart. Read the stories of absolute melt downs and grief and raw pain everyone who has ended their A has felt. Everyone who has stuck by this board, followed the advice, posted her/his stories, shared their ups and downs, fell down and scraped their knees but got right back up to keep moving forward has made the commitment to herself/himself to be done with the A and begin the healing process. It takes time and patience and practice. Believe in the process, but more importantly believe in yourself and your inner strength to work through the pain and sadness. You will

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010

Hi all

Yes I think my 'bargaining' peaked around weeks 3 and 4. Im now in week 9 so its getting easier. BUT I am a terrible self-bargainer, so I still struggle with it.

But little things happen every day that remind me again and again... 'OMG Im glad Im not sad anymore, or stressed (as stressed) or painfully obsessing about him as much'. I say 'as much' because God knows he still takes up more than a reasonable amount of brain time.

But I am definately better (I think:).

Iggyxxx

You are what you consistently do