Iggy, is it Tweener Day?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Iggy, is it Tweener Day?
11
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 7:31am

I have it written down that May 14th is your big day

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 1:46pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 3:50pm
Hello gorgeous Iddy!!!

I will pm you so I get your email address because I'm staying in touch with you!!!! Be scared girl!!!

Yes it is 3 mths since I reinvested in me and stopped focusing on him! It officially ended last sep but I responded to fishing, I broke NC myself by cyber stalking him on a dating site. While it's been 3 mths, I guess I don't really feel celebratory because I still hear about him via 2 sources which I am avoiding but still.... I have a friend who knows his wife, and knows I know him. So she often volunteers snippets out of the blue. Also I have a mate who uses that dating site legitimately ( he's single). He knew about my interest in this man but not hat we had an A. He also knows that the exAP is on a dating site, knows he's married, and sees him online a lot. He tellsme in the vein of 'that loser you thought was cute is online all the time- what a tosser'.

So I get two shots in the head from these contacts. I hear from one that exAP life is great and he's happy, I hear from the other that he is trawling online for sex. Obviously these conflict each other and either way I'm not supposed to care. But mega ouch!!!!!

He is very happy that I'm no longer in his life. He told me that at the end. He's moving on with his life and I have no involvement any more. Plus he continues to look for casual sex and friendship. But not with me!!!!!!! OUCH!!!!

So the fact that I still care and I'm still so hurt by this is the reason im not yet jumping for joy! It all hurts and some days all I want to do is text him and say 'why!!!! What's wrong with me!!! What did I do wrong!!

I know this is the wrong way to think sbout all this. If he finds validation in meaningless sex with ego strokes galore, and he got tired of me because I was past giving both!!! Well so be it. Im better off without someone like that!

So thankyou my friend. It is 3 mths in. I'm doing sooooooo much better. But some days, like today, it's hard!

I love EAS!!!!

Iggy
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 4:48pm

Oh, my dear, dear, Iggy. Why does this serial cheater still get to you? It doesn't matter if you hear conflicting reports on this user of women. Don't you see what a parasite he is? Unless you are willing to give it up (and at a cost he will never reach into his empty

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 5:54pm
Iggy, congratulations my dear, wonderful friend. You made it to Tweenerville!! You have worked so hard and I'm so proud of you.

As for those stories of xAP that keep making their way back to you - you gotta put a stop to them. A simple "I no longer have any contact with him and would rather not hear about him" worked fine for me. It was kind of awkward to say, but our mutual friends have respected my request and my life is better for it.

Enjoy those gorgeous new wings.

Kat xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 9:40pm
Iggy, I'm having one of those days today & know how you feel. It helps knowing we're not alone but why does it seem like progress is always 5 steps forward and 3 steps back? I need to be more grateful he's gone and stop asking myself why I was no longer good enough but seeing him is a trigger and, you guessed it, I saw him today. Only briefly but it hits like a punch..,,

In another month I want to be where you are, stronger. Maybe not today but usually the days are better. Congratulations!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 10:42pm

Congratulations Iggy !!

High Fives to our newest Tweener !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 1:50am

IGGY,

Congrats on your new Tweener wings and wear them with pride.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 8:14pm

Iggy,

I just wanted to say congratulations on reaching Tweenerville.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 10:15am
Dear Iggy,

Welcome to tweenerville. I echo the others - wear those wings proudly ... at 3 months out it isn't so much that you are 'over it', but that you are sticking to NC and putting distance between the end of the affair, and an actual future. I too wonder why you are still wrapping your validation (even the slightest bit) around his actions. You know that his actions have NOTHING to do with you, right? His actions aren't a statement one way or another - because it/he doesn't matter.

Keep putting that distance between you. Ask your friends not to mention him AT ALL. Whatever excuse you need to give them.

Mucho love,

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 3:11pm

Dear Iggy,

I have always loved and admired your honesty here.

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