I'll never be enough
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I'll never be enough
| Wed, 03-24-2010 - 5:43pm |
Random thoughts from alice and questions others have posed have led to post this. it will be random for sure, sometimes talking to him, other times to myself. I can tell you it's difficult to see the letters when they are all blurry.

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Dear Chocolat -
This really is a great community and nobody wants to hurt anyone.
Great post brighter.
A's are wrong and part of growing here is learning about the true nature of the A so that not ony will you end this one and never go back, but so that you will never ever find yourself involved in one in the future.
This statement needs to be posted in the healing library. Chocolat, know that my post and lost' was given in the spirit of love. We have been where you are. It's hard to get out but once you get totally out, get real with yourself and do the hard work to figure out why you settled for a MM in the first place and fix YOU, you will feel so much better about yourself and realize that you are a DIVA who only deserves an honest, loyal and faithful man who only belongs to you.
thank you alwayst and brighterdays09
I guess my last question then is where should I go to post if I am not continuing the affair as MAS - during the time I want to end it and struggle with the way I feel and the things he's said to me and
I want to end it. But I need to get out of my system all these things and questions from being in the affair.
Wait. What? Whoa! You've been emailed directly from people on this board and the emails where rebukes? This rings way wrong, in my book. Tough love is one thing, and everyone gets it from time to time (well, at least the newbies and tweeners), but we're not supposed to get "offended" or "pissy" with each other - publicly OR privately and anyone who has done this, in fact and not just perhaps a misinterpretation, needs to stop it. This is a loving and supportive board for Enders. You have made it clearer now that you are, indeed, an ender (albeit a struggling one, but aren't we all) and so you belong on this board - you should feel free to express yourself within the context of ending and moving forward out of your A. Anyone who does not support you should refrain from comment.
Welcome to the board, Chocolatmartini (LOVE that drink, btw!) Please continue to post and read - and all the best to you.
Dee
Personally, I think this is the best place to ask questions and vent. IF YOU ARE TRULY WANTING TO END THE A. If not, then others are right that this is not the place to be. I believe you are already a wise woman and have been reading a lot and have probably already figured out that your A is not special. It is hurtful and wrong. As long as you stay in it, you will not be a whole, healthy, DIVA-LICIOUS woman!!
Now, wanting to end it and then taking the steps to end it and then sticking to the ending can be difficult. That's where all of us come in. We will hug you, give you advice, share our stories, and kick your butt when necessary. As another poster said, it's all out of love, dear. :)
Chocolat -
That is a tricky question.
Coming out of lurking to respond to this.
Let's put this baby to rest, shall we?
CM, you are welcome to post here as long as your intention is to end your affair. Leave out any romanticizing in your posts, and you are good to go. I also suggest that you continue reading all of the threads, lurk in the Healing Library as a daily routine, and keep reading the threads over and over again until it all sinks in.
Affairs are destructive and ruin lives. I am sure that you are beginning to understand this, and no matter how deep your emotions may be, it's still just an A. You are the third wheel and do not belong in this man's marriage. It's time to start facing reality and come to terms with this ending and then follow through. It is much easier on your heart and ego if you end it first. If you let him pull the plug. whatever self esteem you have left will plummet through the floor. Don't let him be the one doing the rejection.
It's ok to ask questions and seek advice but do it as a general request, leaving conversations with MM out of it. As long as we *think* you are trying to end it, then we will respond as if you have. WHEN you do tell him you are DONE, then we will not hesitate to embrace you as you go through your healing.
(((Hugs)))
PS: Whoever is sending unwelcomed emails to CM should be ashamed of yourselves. If you don't like a post or poster, put them on ignore. What is so hard about that?? Sheeesh!
~Iddy~
RRG -
I am not sure if your post was directed at me, but if that is the case, I would like to clarify, especially for chocolat, that in no way did I tell her that she should leave the board or go to MAS.
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