I'm back...I hope for good

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
I'm back...I hope for good
8
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 8:42am

I am so humbled and grateful that you are all on this path and helping each other out so steadfastly. I don't have time right now (my daughter is sitting here) to sketch out my whole profile (every detail of which all of you know already!) except to say I spent time reading here last night and realized this journey forward is for me, by me and only me. It's not for my H, M, kids, or anyone else. Part of me felt like the nice part of the A was that it was just for me. Now I see getting past it will be just for me too.

I read Victory2007's success story...thank you thank you thank you for mapping out

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 9:34am

Cove,

Welcome back! First I wanted to say, you write very eloquently and I enjoyed reading your post even though you know that by returning here, there is a bumpy road that lays ahead. Your decision to stop the insanity *is* going to be one of the best ones you have ever made.

I wanted to comment on something you said that made me laugh, although I know it wasn't meant to be funny...<< especially completely sexual, you guys know what I mean, the trigger in his mind flipped: she's my bitch now!>>

I remember thinking the same thing once upon a time. When I had returned to my A for the 3rd and last time, Xmm became very territorial but only in the bedroom. Outside of that I was his

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Mon, 11-08-2010 - 1:27pm

hey Cove!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Mon, 11-08-2010 - 1:54pm

Hi

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Mon, 11-08-2010 - 2:26pm

Reading your post brought back a terrible memory for me. I remember my XAP slapping my rear end and actually calling me his b**ch. OMG, what was I thinking all of those months I laid down my respect and dignity. I think because we were so willing to have an A with these men that they had no respect for us from day one. Well, who can respect someone who agrees to be in a hidden deceitful relationship. I don't know how we ever excpected to be respected. An A is

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Mon, 11-08-2010 - 8:54pm
cove it's melinda82010@hotmail.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 8:57am

Hi Cove,

I sent you a private message, I am one of the girls here with a neighbor xAP too .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 9:25am

Cove here, same me, new chapter. Holiday time, which we are all dealing with!

New fishing attempt incoming from xap (he makes himself available on IM when the 'coast is clear'). I am busy with work, family visiting and holiday so my RL should be enough to keep me grounded. But the lure is still there, or even just the fyi and update to him that I am trying to take a different path and not go there with IC (I haven't communicated about this b/c he's always made it clear that emotional drama is something he's not interested in). Vets: maybe I should show my cards and say I'm off limits?

I know the cycle: IC today, he's gone for the next few days with his family, I'm with mine, I feel sadder than I would have (I'll be sad anyway because I am still overattached to him) because of IC...eventually he'll be home, I'll be relieved..then some day I'll worry there has been a dday because we haven't connected, there won't have been, but i'll worry anyway...aren't I smart how much I've figured out!

Btw: I did not respond to fishing attempt last week either. You guys helped me be strong then. I'm feeling more tempted today so am bringing the situation here.

Details of my situation:

4 weeks no intimate contact. I'm MW dealing with MM neighbor and A of several years depending how you slice EA and PA. Anyway LC is the ending scenario for me, not NC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 9:40am

Hi Cove,

Just wanted to welcome you and say I am glad you are here (well, you know what I mean) and hope you find the support here to help you stay NC and move on to a much happier life for YOU.