I'm a mess-Why did i do this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2010
I'm a mess-Why did i do this?
7
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 12:30pm

Hello, I'm new here, although I have lurked around reading your posts for a while.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 12:52pm

I am sure this is not a fun situation for you to be in. I hope you don't mind me asking, but what exactly is it you love about this guy?

He had no problem "dating" you when you were married and had children, yet he dumps you the moment he starts seeing someone. He will blow you off, yet has no problem contacting you when HE needs something. To me, from what you have written, it seems he has found someone who will give him what he wants. He appears to have little regard for what YOU want.

This is not someone that I would want to be with. Don't you want someone who will put your needs right up there with their own? Don't you want someone who will love you for you, and not just what you can give them?

You deserve more. It does not matter what he is thinking. What matters is that you are happy and find your inner peace. Are you ready to go NC?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 1:37pm

Let me try to understand this. You've rekindled a relationship with a previous AP who is still single. You were M then, but now you are separated and not sure you want a D. You've been masquerading as single since January..so let me ask you this? Does your AP think you are getting D? Did you level with him that you are still

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 1:57am

I don't know if he doesn't care about you or not. But what I do know is that unless you have a surplus of cash laying around, it's not a very good idea to be giving him money. He certainly seems to be quite eager to have it in his bank account. It's your call, but I just think you have to be careful when it comes to money. Can you really afford to be taking money away from your family and giving it to another man?

If you're not sure what you want the status of your marriage to be, you really shouldn't be involved with someone else. It's just not a wise decision. Sure hope you can figure this out.

Nice name, btw.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 11:53am
You say you know it's over but I don't buy that. If it was, you'd be initiating NC and beginning your EAS journey for real. Run away from this guy. My sister was in the same situation. She was giving money to a guy who manipulated her emotions just like this "man" is doing to you. In my sister's case, the guy walked when my sister cut him off financially. No surprise. We get so wrapped up in the A fog of emotions that our common sense flees the scene. If you really want this hurt to end, go NC and see what happens. It really works.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2009
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 2:03pm

I dont have a lot of advice to give you as I just had a relapse and am not feeling too proud of myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2010
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 2:58pm

Wow! Thank you to all of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 3:20pm

Silly,


AGREED!! He is NOT worth your time to respond. DISAGREED: You will need to talk about it, trust me. That is what we do best here--talk and listen and offer support. Even though you know he is a POS, it is difficult to end an A.


I'm so glad for your sanity and dignity that you realize what a using, lying, cowardly, scumbag your xAP is. No man who cares for a woman would ever treat her or talk to her that way. He obviously was looking at you as Miss Hottie Moneybags.


The absolute best revenge you can

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.