I'm not a victim!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
I'm not a victim!
4
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 7:42am
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 8:23am

That's really helpful Alice, thanks.

I don't go back until Saturday for my T and this is a great mid-week kick in the butt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 9:33am
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 11:30am

Hi Alice,

Glad to read your T is not trying to be your friend but a person who is acting as a barometer for balance and truth to help you see the situation as it is.

When I went back and read some of my old posts here, I was very good at playing the victim reciting over and over what he “did to me.” It’s amazing how many of us gave away our power by playing the victim.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 12:48pm
Great post Alice. This is a real ah-ha moment for you. I did so many humiliating and degrading things during my A that I had to blame him initially because I only did that because he begged me or he talked me into it. My T did the same thing to me, she made me realize that I was a grown woman who made a choice to degrade myself. I always had the power to say no. That was a profound discovery for me. The power was always within each of us to take charge over our lives and not allow ourselves to be played. An A is all about using each other and when it's over and you look back at your behavior and what you fell for it is much easier to convince yourself that someone tricked you into being bad.