I'm officially a stalker
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I'm officially a stalker
| Sat, 11-27-2004 - 10:00pm |
I am so pathetic. Still no word from MM. I have no idea why he hasn't contacted me. I still have no idea what is going on. I KNOW that if he was able to contact me, he would, even if he agreed to NC and decided to stay. I went over to my girlfriends house tonight and we watched movies and had dinner. It was a fun night, until on my way home I decided to drive by his house. Not sure why I would do such a crazy thing. I knew he'd be there. Where else would he be since he's not with me? I thought I would be fine. But just seeing his car in the driveway took my breath away. It felt like reality kicking me in the heart. All the lights were on. I couldn't see them but I can just picture them laughing and joking with eachother. Do you think everything is just jolly over there already? I cried all the way home. And I thought I was at peace with this. I just need to hear him say it's over. Then I can get on with my life. I need HIM to end it!!!! Sorry for feeling sorry for myself tonight. I did a dumb thing by "stalking" tonight. Can't wait for this weekend to be over :(

Hugs to you Pal
Don't feel too bad, HE didn't know you drove by and at least you didn't call him.
I know I would do this at some point, if my xMM didn't live an hour away.
Hopefully, he will be man enough to give you his answer by monday. Free has knocked some sense into me this weekend, you may want to read some of her posts, they will make you cry but they are honest and true. You are so right the weekends suck, I remember looking forward to weekends...I long for that simplicity again.
Hope
don'
You're giving him all the power. You need to take it back! You don't need him to say it's over. You have that power yourself. You can do this. People are doing it every day on these boards, you can too. You just need to do it. And keep your resolve.