I'm Ok ......

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
I'm Ok ......
5
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 10:39pm
I just wanted to update on my situation. I started the discussion "Did I do the right thing". I gave my MM and ulimatum either me or his wife. That was last Wed. He called me Friday to tell me he was still thinking about it because he was confused on what to do. Other than that we have had NC since that WEd.

I have been an emotional wreck and crying all the time. I am a Christian and I do draw my strength from Jesus Christ. He has givin me strength, comfort and some peace. I have not cried for three days...yeah! I must see MM and his wife tommorrow night because he and I work on a TV program taped at his church. It will be hard but, I'll be ok as long as she doesn't try to "baby sit" us. Even if she does, I'll be ok. I know she suspects and when the cell phone bill comes out at the end of this month it's all liable to blow up.

No mater what he choose, and I'm no dummy, he'll stay with his wife, I'm going to be ok. My world will go on.

I just want to thank the person who put the "Stuck in Limbo Land" post. I printed it out and I read it all the time especially when I feel down or upset. There was another post the did the Fantasy the Reality. It was so funny yet true. I printed it out and read it also.

If you read the discussion from the "Did I do the right thing" post you will see about how the wife has been baiting me and being "friends". I have really cut her off. I think she may be getting the hint that I do not want to talk or be together. I must get away from them both. She just tries to keep me around and it just is torchure on me.

I'll let you guys know how it goes tommorrow night.


Carla

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 10:52pm
I also read the "Stuck in Limbo" post and it help me see the "Ah-Ha" light. I ended things with my MM today. Now I'm taking things one day at a time, or one hour at a time...whatever it takes to get through the day and take control of my life again.

:) overhim2

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:23am
((Carla)) First of all, let me say congratulations on the NC! Every day is a big step forward. I also admire your attitude and outlook that no matter what happens, you'll be OK. You will be, and you'll be much better than just "OK". You'll be a much stronger, much better person for ending the A and moving on with your life.

You mentioned a cell phone bill. I assume that this is MM's cell phone? Why can't he intercept the bill before she reads it? If he has half a brain in his head, he'll try to get the bill out of the mailbox before she does. Or, he could probably pay it online. Either way, that is not your problem. All you need to worry about right now is moving forward and being strong.

As far as the contact at work, I would keep it to a minimum if possible, and keep any mandatory contact professional and short. Don't let yourself get caught back up in long conversations that may bring you back to the A.

Also, I did read your other post, and MM's wife kind of sounds weird, almost stalker-ish to me. I would stay as far away from her as possible. It sounds like she has some sort of obsession with you and her husband, or just with you, and she is determined to force this odd friendship on you. I would just continue to not have contact with her. Eventually, she will get the hint.

On an off topic note, I remember that you mentioned horses in your other post. I am a "horse person" too! Always nice to meet other horsie people!

:)

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 8:10am
Dear Circe,

Thank you for your post to me! Yes I love my horses!!!! They help us keep our sanity. Unfortunately that was a big thing with MM wife and me. I believe you are right about her obssesion with me and with me and him. I have been warned by mutual friends to be careful that she is a piece of work.

I did some bushhogging for them in their pasture and she has bugged the crap out of me to come over and get my money. I have told her to just leave it there and I will come through the day when her son is home and get it. That way I will have NC with her or MM. She is insistant that I come when they are there because she has a new palamino mare she wants me to see. She called me just last night! She bothers me more than MM

About the cell phone bill. She is a control freak and handles EVERYTHING. She is about 12 years older than MM and married him when he was only 23 and she was 36. He is now 31 and she just turned 42. She treats him more like the other son than a husband. She would never go for him paying the bill. That is why she got them both phones a few weeks ago was to catch me and him. I knew that was what she was doing I just thought he was smarter than that. I know she suspects us.....you can just tell. But you are right, she is weird, sick and obssesed. She has even started coping me on stuff. Ya see, I have a palamino and she told me she liked the dark horses. Amazing how she changed her tune.

Talk to you soon,

Carla

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:23pm
Carla,

****I just want to thank the person who put the "Stuck in Limbo Land" post.****

You are very welcome. I was venting that day and only hoped that although it was somewhat harsh, that it could help someone. I am in my 7th week of "ending" my affair, and also work with my XMM. Our ex-affair extended over 4 years, but after 2 of them it was totally downhill. I just couldn't see the forest for the trees for the longest time but I started withdrawing emotionally at the beginning of this year, and although it took me 5 months so make the final break, I DID and have remained "True to Myself". I thank these boards for supplying me the much needed courage and strength to succeed.

You can do this. You will save yourself a ton load of pain if you continue to hold it together and show this twisted couple that you are NOT of their game-playing world.

My best to you,

True

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 11:22pm
You know True.....that was such a good term.."Twisted Couple". It is so true. By the way I have passed out your Limbo Land to some very good friends who needed to hear it to!

Thanks,

Carla