I'm scared to come out.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
I'm scared to come out.....
19
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 3:33pm
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Edited 4/29/2010 5:33 pm ET by hazelrose2009

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 5:43pm

Hazel:


Don't go back to just lurking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 5:54pm
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Edited 4/29/2010 5:34 pm ET by hazelrose2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 6:24pm

Ok Hazel-

You will get nothing but love and hugs and support from me right now. I am so sorry you are hurting. Let it out. Feel it. Write yourself a letter right now to remind yourself what breaking NC really means. And then you start over... and that's ok. Better to start over than never to start at all.

From reading this post and all of your other very insightful posts, I know that you know what you need to do to heal. One day at a time mama... and don't be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake. Remember, he doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what he thinks. It doesn't matter what he feels. All that matters right now is you.

Day 1... we are here for you!

Jane
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 7:10am

Hi Hazel,


Big cuddle (((X))) so are sooo like me. I have done the same, mine has ended at least 6 times and i went the longest of 11 months without contact and then he added me on fb and i like a fool thought i was ok to start contact and within one day I had met him....


then he was sorry and it was back to square one.. Like you i am the one who cares more for him than he does me, he seems capable of just stopping contact and never thinks about it until he thinks.... oh i know who will stroke my ego!!!!???? Guess who!


it is hard, but you know... you have to realise that this man is no good in your life... full stop... i had blocked mine so many times from fbook and then unblocked as i wanted to see who he was talking to (why??? it doesnt matter does it!) and its like self harming.... there come a time to stop and say no more ... I dont think I can hurt myself anymore and the knock on affect on my family is dreadfull.... im like a yo-yo, and no the high isnt worth the lows.... it isnt.


So i know how you feel, I really do... you made a mistake like i did in Jan 2010 and now i am finding it easier each day.. as will you. So dust yourself off, and get back onto the right track... and try to stop thinking of him...


keep reading, posting and start healing... with all my love and support sister


Sunbeam

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 7:42am

Okay, so you touched that hot stove again and have new blisters, but there isn't one of us on here who didn't do the same thing at least once. Bandage the hand and be gentle on yourself until the throbbing goes away.


Learning that we were not as significant to them as we had thought hurts, no doubt, but the "truth *will* set you free." Whoever wrote that knew what they were talking about. ;-)


(((Hugs)))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 10:16am

Awww, Hazel. How humiliating and mortifying it must have felt for you when he said you were "acting crazy" and that he was not leading you on. What a heartless a**.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 10:58am

Good Morning Hazelrose!


Today is a new day and I hope

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 11:36am
If my calculations are correct Hazel, today is day 2 NC... and that is twice as many days as yesterday. Love you! Hope today is better sweetie.
Jane
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 2:35pm
.................


Edited 4/29/2010 5:34 pm ET by hazelrose2009

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