I'm sick of the heartache!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
I'm sick of the heartache!
3
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 4:13pm
I'm so sick of feeling broken hearted!

I saw my xMM last night as I was driving home. He lives near me, so happenstance meetings are unavoidable. I avoid the places I KNOW he goes, but the chance meeting at Target or the gas station are the hard ones.

Since seeing him (never said a word, and don't think he saw me) I've been pinning for him today. I'm so pissed at myself for wasting a day with a heavy heart and a great desire to call him.

I reiterate Bear's feelings: When will the pain go away?!

I feel like I need a "Three Stooges" moment, where Moe slaps me across the face a few times and tells me to snap out of it.

I know I'm stronger than this, but somedays it is almost overwhelming.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 5:07pm
Shel -

You're not alone. I hadn't spoke w/ my XOM in a whole week - then I broke down and called him for his bday. The next night he called me (from California, no less - while he was suppose to be hanging out with his best friend and celebrating) - I didn't answer my phone. The next day I called him, and he just said he was drunk. Whatever! I'm so sick of crying over this boy! I'm sick of him taking up space in my head!!

Did anyone see that movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? I wish I could just erase him from my brain!

Ugh!

Diva

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 5:30pm
I just responded to your post about your yucky day.

Let me know about the mind-erasing trick. I'm all for it!

The worst part is, I can only assume -- since I don't talk to him and won't -- that he has just blocked it out of his mind and is happily living his life.

Arrrgh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 5:46pm
It does seem to take forever to feel better...

I guess what's helped me the most is the acceptance of the fact that exMM and I will never be together long-term. Even if we wanted it to work, it wouldn't have. It doesn't make me miss him less, per se, but it does remind me that my healing is my primary concern, and that I shouldn't spend time and energy wondering about him, how he's doing, how his M is holding up (his W found out), etc.

It seems almost inevitable to me that I will see him someday, even if just in passing. I am sure it will be a huge shock and bring back lots of feelings and memories.

But I think I can deal with them. I've tried to take as many positives as I can out of the sitatuation, and one of them is that I am a strong person. I've been weak at times, but overall, I can stand up and say that I can depend on me.