I'm so angry at ex-MM,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I'm so angry at ex-MM,
4
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:32am
I'm almost speechless. He looked me in my eyes and "promised" that we would get married. Why couldn't he love me enough to keep his promise. Why couldn't he love me enought o leave her? What is so special about her? That was 5 years ago. For 4 years I gave his my total undivided attention. I did everything I could to cultivate a healthy relationship with this man. I waited on him, only for him to give his best to his "family". It's nothing wrong with that.......but he should have said that in the first. NO!!! he lies, has be believing him, and basically wasting my life. Those are years that I was singel, and could have maybe gotten involved with some that was single. He didn't want that, he wanted me all to himself.

Now, I need the closeness of a mate. I found you yesterday, that I have MS. Here I am a single mother, trying to raise my dd. I feel so all alone. My mother does the best she can, but she isn't in the best of health herself. There's no family to rely on. I feel like I need ex-MM now. I wouldn't dare tell him what's going on with me, even if my life depended on it. I don't want his pity. It would be nice if I had not spent 5 "good" years trying to cultivate a relationship that is never going to happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:41am
God bless you, secretluver. I am sending prayers & positive thoughts your way. Be strong and get the best care possible for your daughter's sake!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:45am
OMG, I really don't know what to say other that I am praying for you and my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that he broke his promises to you, and now you have the added pain of an illness, a sick mom, and the stress of raising a child. You really need support now, from this board, friends, neighbors, church, ANYONE! Please email me through ivillage any time you need. You don't deserve the pain you are in, both physically or emotionally, but you need to deal with it. That's the only way to get past it. This board has helped me tremendously, and I've only been on for a week...keep checking in with us. Try to look inside yourself and find the strength you had before you even met him...it's still there. Also, look at your beautiful daughter and try to find the joy in her. Raising a child must be so stressful, but you accomplished an amazing thing bringing her into this world, and you should be proud. Be strong for the 2 of you. Please post soon and let us know how you are doing. Sending hugs and thoughts your way...

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 4:56pm
(((secretluver))) - Please do not be too hard on yourself. It sounds as if you are beating yourself up over your A with MM. Although it was a *choice* to have the A, you cannot spend all of your time dwelling in the past and regretting the A.

Try as best as you can to put it behind you. Perhaps see a counselor, or talk to someone from a church, or place of worship. Most importantly, don't spend your time dwelling on MM's lies and deceit.

You have much more important things to concentrate on, your dd, your health, and getting your life back. We are all here to help you through this, and to help you get back to focusing on what's most important - YOU!

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

:)

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 2:01am
>>>>>>>>>>He looked me in my eyes and "promised" that we would get married. Why couldn't he love me enough to keep his promise. Why couldn't he love me enought o leave her?<<<<<<<<<<<<

I know the feeling, I wasted 2 yrs of my life with a man who lied to me from the first day I met him, he told me he was single, div and no kids. When I finally learned the truth almost a year later...I was hurt..but I had fallen in love with him. he had made the same promises to me as yours Secret, I also was sick last summer...in the hospital for 8 days...rehab,,he was there for me. I dont know why. TO do this to me now?

Hope.