IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW!
11
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 6:35pm

Nothing "JUST' happened - but I think Im going through the ANGER STAGE.

What a loser! I hate him! He's so fake!

(he called my daughter's boyfriend - to FISH! he NEVER calls him...and suddenly he's a "concerned" guy...about my daughter's bf's "job possibilities" and then asked..."How's Michelle...What's Michelle been up to" Thank GOD! We've already had the talk (Dott's bf and me) he told him..."ugh...Im NOT GOING THERE"...

NEVERTHELESS.

Im mad! He's a SELFISH BASTARD! He told me so many LIES & PROMISES that he had NO INTENTION of making good on.

I CAN'T HELP IT - BUT I REALLY HOPE HE GETS HIS FAT FACE CAUGHT IN AN ELEVATOR DOOR & IT DOESNT HAVE A SAFETY MECHANISM AND HE GETS TAKEN DOWN TO THE BOTTOM FLOOR BY HIS TEETH.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 7:25pm

M~

Anger is very much a part of healing. It means that the reality of the situation is beginning to sink in and you are not liking it one damn bit. It's a defense mechanism, one I am very familiar with. I've had to deal with anger issues from youth with Mommy Dearest and Daddy Deaf. :smileymad: Seriously, he was deaf in one ear, so I'll cut him some slack. :smileywink:

As long as you don't hold onto it for too long, it will pass. It can be useful right now because it is helping you to purge feelings that have been scratching the surface, wanting to get out.... Where they become detrimental is when you keep it misplaced..Meaning, the REAL anger is really at yourself, but how do we punch out our own lights? Well, we can't, but we can redirect this angst toward pushing ourselves further down the road of recovery. Let it motivate, not aggravate.

I found that when I was having one of my anger spells, I would soak in the tub or take a nice hot shower..which helped me relax. Drink herbal tea such as Chamomile, or lemon clam tea. The Brits did a study on drinking "black tea" to relieve stress and how well it works, so having a "spot of tea" or a whole pot might do the trick. Then there is always "kickboxing." :smileyvery-happy:

Anyway, anger is one of the stages of grief, so you are on track. Just be sure to switch tracks in the not too far future.

((Hugs))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 7:57pm

Yep, totally normal. Like Iddy said, use it to propel yourself forward. There were times I didn't go for a run, I would literally sprint as fast as I could until my lungs gave out. I didn't mind the anger stage too much - I found it easier to NOT want to talk to XAP or be with him if I hated him. Get it out :) Tomorrow is a new day.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 8:12pm

thank you Iddy,

I am so emotional right now - tears pouring out of my eyes - Im sorry I laughed that your dad was 1/2 deaf. hahahha ;) Oops! I did it again!

You're right - the INSTANT you said...My anger are the feelings that have been bubbling to the surface - I let the big CRY go.

Everything that follows is RAW EMOTION with no Rational thought applied to it (isnt that one of the definitions of crazy...OH well...)

I feel JIPPED. Ripped off, Used & SCREWED OVER.

Normal breakups - involve having a talk - you know where both people respectfully agree to disagree. and have a "making of Peace" about them. Ive always been friends with exes and have amicable breakups

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 8:25pm
Good for you Michelle to get angry, it feels good to let it out doesn't it? Even better that you are getting it out in a physical healthy way. If it's a punching bag your using for your workout I betcha that bag has heard it's fair share! Herbal tea has been great during this time, now if I could just make the complete shift from coffee:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 8:26pm

SO VERY TRUE! I WILL GET IT OUT! IM GOING HOME AND WORKING OUT LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN!!! AND TOMORROW IS DEFINITELY A NEW DAY!!!!

:)

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 8:33pm

that's NEXT on the list for me too Jen!!!

Im a coffee girl - but the next time I go to the store -

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 9:49pm

Quick update: Ive been perusing the web; just found this site that helps you find your IDEAL location of where you "should" live - based on your preferences.

OF COURSE IT COMES BACK THAT MY IDEAL PLACE IS THE CITY I LIVE IN!!! hahahaha.

Kind of like entering all your detailed information into E-harmony & the match coming back = YOURSELF. :)

Thought this was funny - wanted to share.

Oh and Here's the link:

http://www.findyourspot.com

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 10:11pm
yup - that's how you get it done M. You let it come, you break down and then you pick yourself up and re-direct that extra energy outwards and use what remains to reflect on the root of what triggered you. Anger is the feeling that keeps us "safe" from feeling disappointed, hurt, frustrated, scared, ashamed. Those are the harder feelings, easier to be angry. I am so proud of you for recognizing what you were feeling and making the choice to come here and then do some self-care.

Day 13 tomorrow? Prepare for the storm, and remember that addiction takes about 3 weeks to break, and that's with complete NC. Just keep coming here.

We've all been where you are, and know what? Soon you will be here where "we are". Hold fast. (-:

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 10:46pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 11:17pm

Alice -

I saw that you were in a p'd off stage too. It's not alot of fun

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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