I'm So Stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
I'm So Stupid
4
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 5:14pm
I apologize in advance for the length but I need to talk, to cry on someone's shoulder. My MM went on vacation a few weeks ago and before he left, I tried to end things. I told him that I knew ending it was for the best and I wanted to remain friends. He went on vacation for a few days and while he was gone I realized how much I missed him. Things at home had grown stale with husband and I didn't get the attention I wanted, the attention MM gave me. So, when MM came back, I told him I had reconsidered my decision. I didn't feel strong enough right now to make this big change. Of course, MM was all too happy to entertain my wishes. We spent some time together and it felt wonderful.

Then today the other shoe dropped. We were together (we work together) and I thought everything was fine. After all, he approached me (like he has been doing for the last few months -- all about him). Then two seconds later he said, "you were right two weeks ago." He was telling me that I was right when I said we needed to end it. Of course, I couldn't look at him, I just started to cry. Then he told me to stop crying, that we would be better friends. How could I be so stupid???? I knew this would happen and I let my guard down. I let him get to me. I let him inside of me, inside my head; and now I just want to scream.

I told him I didn't want to talk because all he was going to do was say things that made him feel better, and things that would make me feel worse. I don't know what to do except call in sick for a week.

This is what a jerk he is. One minute he's trying to get in my pants. The next minute he's saying we should end things. And the minute after that, he's trying to kiss my tears away. He doesn't like to see me cry. What the $%^& does he think? I'm human. I'm not some stupid machine without any emotions. And just a little background info, we've been involve for 2-1/2 years. So, not only was I stupid today, I've been stupid for a long time.

Someone please help. Tell me that I'm going to be OK and that he is a jerk and I deserve better. I went through all of this pain two weeks ago trying to get up the courage to end things with him, to even try and say the words. Now hearing them said back to me makes me ill. How can he want to be with me and two seconds later, in the middle of things, be saying we should end it???

Tomorrow is Friday...perfect day for a sick day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 5:42pm
Now that you've beaten yourself up, it's time to stop and evaluate your ENTIRE situation. Sure, he's a jerk but he's also a MAN and it's extremely rare for a man to turn down a woman that's willing to take care of their needs!

If I were in your shoes, I would not call in sick tomorrow or any day in the future. I would face him head on with a very cold shoulder.

Don't start hiding from him because doing so will only stroke his already greatly inflated ego!

I do know that what you're going through hurts....deeply! Right now, you need to be a strong and cold hearted woman to him. Once the dust settles, you will realize that ending this A on *his* or *your* last word won't make a bit of difference. The important thing will be that it did end because once it does, you will regain your sanity and your self worth.

You're worth 200% more then what you are and have been settling for...I know, I've been there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 7:40pm
I've been there too..and like I wrote on another board--how can they do that? Because they think with their head one minute and their d*&^ another minute. It's how men can be.

He does not deserve one more moment of your energy or time. (as my MM did not --and i gave him that for three years..) Don't call in sick. You show him that he is nothing and deserves NO MORE of your precious time..i know it hurts but don't let him create this sadness in you. If things are stale with your husband, maybe this is a sign that you need to work with him to create a better marriage. If it's not something you want, you will have to think on that as well. But don't let this guy drag you down.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2004
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 7:44pm
Sounds like he wants to be the one in control. STOP! letting him have his cake & eat it too.

The attention is great but,it must end some time right? If your strong enough turn the tables one more time on him, I'm almost certain he will fall back into your pants one last time then drop him like the crap he is. BE SRONG & THE ONE IN CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.I usually don't support this kind of thing but, i hate to see any lady being not in control of her own self.Women don't usually fall into this for just sex. Most men know how emotioal women really are and they use that against you to control you.STOP LETTING HIM USE YOU TO HIS OWN ADVANTAGE!!!!!!!!!

lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 7:44am
overhim,

Like your name says, you were ready to be overhim. So stick with it.

Don't worry about what he said. You said it first. (LOL)

Instead of calling in sick, start getting your sexiest clothes together and look damn good when you are work. It will make you feel good and well, you know, it will make you feel even better if he sees you looking so great.

Good luck and don't let him win. You were ready to end it so just keep reminding yourself of that.