I'm so torn and broken hearted.
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|Mon, 03-31-2003 - 9:05pm|
I met this wonderful man 4 years younger than me. He's married with no children. I am married with 2 children.
We hit it off immediately, and both fell in love. Things were perfect. I felt like I was in another world when we were together.
Everytime, we got closer emotionally, I would back off. I was really getting fearful in wondering where this was going to lead me if we continued with this intensity. Our feelings for one another were so intense sometimes, that I literally would forget where I was and all my problems disappeared. He felt the same. I would tell him I needed to think about what we were doing, he would take it very hard, and within the next day, I was back calling him.
Slowly, I think this chipped away at him. He then lost his job, and our relationship went into a downward spiral from there. I asked him if he wanted me to step back, so that he could get his affairs in order and he replied 'no..I want you right here' Emotionally, he became very distant, and claimed it was because life just handed him a crisis and he asked that I be patient with him and that he would come around. In the meantime, my needs I felt weren't being met, and I started to 'chip' away at him again.
I finally decided that this 'crisis' was going to take some time for him to get in order. He is looking to start his own business. He told me he could no longer be there for me in the same way like he used to due to his focus needing to be on his new career. I became rather bitter and told him that we should breakup.
We agreed that when the dust settles , if we were meant to be, we will find each other again.
NOW...I miss him terribly. I cannot stop thinking about him and regret chipping away at him and wish somehow I could have saw him through this mess rather than ending it. He has told me to find someone who can make me happy because right now he cannot give me what I need.
I love my husband, but he cannot give me what OM can give me. I do not want to end my marriage because I have small children involved. So here I am, alone, miserable, and not knowing what to do or believe anymore.
I don't know how to move forward. I don't know if OMM and I will ever get back together again because I feel he will soon wake up and see how I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most.
Can anyone help me and guide me in what direction to take this?