I'm still here just had a slide backwards.....restart NC
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|Sun, 09-23-2012 - 12:09pm|
Hi Everyone, (sorry I accidently signed on with an old screen name but want my post under this name)
I haven't posted lately, but was doing very well with NC. Actually the best I've ever done, a month, and then here he came and there I went........foolish me.
Long story short he talked me into a day out on his boat. Started as a beautiful day, until he drank so much, darkness fell and he was drunk and wouldn't head in to the dock when I asked him to. Finally got him to head in and he had an accident making a turn into the bay. I was knocked around, not too physically hurt, mostly emotionally. Spent 5 hours wet and cold on the beach waiting for a tow to get the boat out. He was arrested for boating while intoxicated along with a list of other charges, including dangering my welfare. For the first time in my long life I had to be subjected to a breathalyser test. Humilitated..... Angry at him, angry more at myself.
No apology from him, but what did I expect? Its always been all about him. His concerns were too big too apologize to me I suppose, police charges, boat damage, would his live in GF find out I was with him again after there was a dday only a few months ago? My with all that to think about in his life, how could he have time to think of me......afterall I'm not really loved and not so important in his eyes.
So I start again but one thing I can guaruntee myself is that it won't happen again. I suppose when your lucky enough to escape serious injury or worse, you look at life differently and that person that brings you unhappiness more than he does happiness. Setting up counseling this week, I figure I need it. After all I'm certan I'm a codependent, who has issues letting go of an alcholic.