I'm Trying

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
I'm Trying
1
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 3:16pm

Hi All.

Thanks for your words of wisdom last week. I agree that the going out/drinking is definitely replacing one vice with another. I've been self-medicating for so long now, I guess the only positive thing is that I see it for what it is. The truth is, I don't want to live that way. And, you'll be proud of me, I didn't go out drinking once this weekend. I know I need to address my self-esteem issues and not try to hide behind xMM or drinking or smoking, I know to be happy those things have to go. I'm trying. I know that one of the major things behind my behavior is that I have not reached the point where I can forgive myself for what happened with xMM and how I single-handedly demolished my M. I think instead of addressing those failures head on, I've been trying to hide. I have therapy today & I'm really looking forward to it. I so badly want to move forward with my life. Thanks again for listening.

Blue

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 6:31pm

Blue

Rome was not built in a day and nobody solves all there issues in a day so be patient with yourself you will get there in your own good time.

>>"I know that one of the major things behind my behavior is that I have not reached the point where I can forgive myself for what happened with xMM and how I single-handedly demolished my"<<

I think maybe what you need to be addressing is why it happen with married man, affairs are often a symptom of another problem that was not dealt with be that an internal personal issue with the W/S or a marriage issue.

If you deal with the foundation issue it willbe easier to rebuild a happy life that will go the distance.

Hang in there Kiddo

Free