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| Wed, 01-12-2005 - 3:35pm |
hello. I think I am in the right area. I am a woman with a low self-esteem, only worsened by a belittling H(NOW XH) and had a string of affairs(3) over my last 15yr marriage. I have since remarried and my H knows about them all, of course he is not happy about it but I felt he needed to know if I wanted to heal myself and avoid doing it again. So my XH doesnt know about them and it was a pretty bitter D. He had threatened all of our lives and various similar acts. My DH is like an victim/innocent bystander to all this and doesnt deserve the abuse just because my ex suspects I was having an A with my present H. How do I clear the air and tell XH about the A's I had while married to him? We have children together that he sees every 2wks, things have settled down yet I feel he should know so the next woman he is with doesnt do the same to him(if that makes sense). He is not a very nice person and I feel if I tell him about the A's that might help him(and everyone else too) in the end. I know his family is upset because I remarried and any respect they had left for me will be gone once I tell XH about the A's. I feel that is the consequence to pay. Not only do I owe it XH but also to DH because everyone(all the ex's) thinks DH and I were having an A and that is not true. I dont think there is a 'right' time or place to do such a thing(confess) but does anyone have any ideas? I will browse the archives to see what else has been written. Thank you for your time=)
~Changed(hope I am not using someone else's name!)

Changed,
Just my opinion... Why would you even consider confessing to your now XH when your marriage is over? You still have children to raise together, and I feel confessing would only make this situation much, much worse. I wouldn't do it. The marriage is over, and you sound like you are in a much better M now. Don't stir up chaos where there isn't any. Who cares who thinks you were having an A with your husband now? It doesn't matter. If you confess to the other 3...then add the BIG BUT....my H now wasn't one of them. They aren't going to believe you! Just my opinion.
SS
Changed
Way do you think your XH would believe anything you tell him, I would not give any additional amunition to a bitter nut case that threatens peoples lives.
Free