Introduction - I was in an affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Introduction - I was in an affair
49
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 5:04pm

Hello Everyone - I haven't really navigated around Ivillage and this particular discussion group a whole lot - YET - I was just given this link by a well meaning friend knowing, that I need some support.

I want to get OVER my feelings for a person I was involved in an affair with.

It lasted 3 years - and while I was told - he was going to leave to be with me...(everyone stop laughing!!!!) :)

It turned into this "limbo" thing - where I decided I couldnt live happily.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 6:06pm

Welcome Michelle!

I'm so glad you have found us.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 6:12pm

Hi

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 6:48pm
Welcome Michelle!

I am so happy that your friend sent you our way! It is great to have fresh new posters, well not great in the sense that you're in pain, but great that you'll bring fresh energy & wisdom with you. You should like you know where you need to go, and would like some support to help you get there. While EAS can't replace the support of an individual counselor/therapist, we will offer support in the numerous ways that it comes in: reality checks when needed and a shoulder to lean on when you need that too. We won't collude and we tend to tell it like it is. We don't do anyone any favors by watering sh&t down, you know what I mean. I had too many people supporting my delusional thinking while in the affair, so I find it very refreshing to have a place where people don't support & encourage destructive behaviors. To me there is a big difference between support and enabling. PLEASE make sure to read the Healing Library, like everything in it! There is so much wisdom there, and just about every issue any of us faces with moving on is dealt with in one way or another there.

I look forward to your participation here,

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 7:23pm

Hi, NL-

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 8:27pm

WELCOME Michelle! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 8:53pm
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 8:57pm
Welcome...
The key to doing wha you described is some hard work but sooooo worth it. Please stay and be a part of our great community. It's truly the best place you can be. We will get you thru when push comes to shove...
And please answer Dee's questions...we are good at this and can cater are support to ur situation should you need it...
When u r comfortable of course!
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 1:50am

HI there and THANK YOU!!! for the nice welcome!

When you say...Soooo worth it...It sounds like YOU KNOW what you're talking about! That's comforting to know there's HOPE on the other side of this craziness which my life has become due to this affair.

I NEED those who've been where Im at - as No one else in my daily life understands my confusion and how I just dont seem to be breaking up "normally" like I've done with other men.

I feel really comfortable opening up -

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 1:52am

Thank you for taking the time to post then - since you don't post much! I appreciate your coming out of the "woodwork" :) to greet me.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 2:21am

Hi Dee -

Thanks for the welcome and the fact questions which will open me and my "story" up to the group.

Ending process: Ohhhh THAT messy thing. It resembles either a funhouse at a country fair or the biggest roller coaster at Six flags. Ive been all over the board with my "ending". I think Im starting to wear it as a Girl Scout Badge. :) Just not proudly.

The facts are:

1) He said he wants to explore being with me, is seeking counseling but says it has to be on

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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