Is it cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is it cheating?
5
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 11:21pm

You tell me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 2:01pm
I have only a few words here...

Dear Confused in PA,

Who are you kidding????? See you on this board in another couple of years.

Bird

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 2:24pm
Even though you may not have any intentions on letting your relationship with your old "flame" go too far, it sounds as though you may be headed for trouble. As you said he was the love of your life and you are not getting the attention you need at home, it would be easy to fall prey to something you may not intend on happening. I know, because that is what happened to me. I looked at this individual as nothing more than a friend when we met, and even though we did not have a sexual relationship, 1 year later I find it hard to forget him. I have been married for 27 years and he married for 16. We stood back and are with our respected mates. Even though I can't get him out of my head, I know I did the best thing for the sake of my husband and 2 girls. I knew how easy it was for the relationship to go too far and we broke all ties. I like you, know that there is something missing from my relationship at home for me to turn a friendship into something more, but I have to find it and fix it or move on. But I WON'T cheat on my husband, he deserves so much more. I feel guilty about the way I feel about this person, and even feel like I am cheating on my husband with all the thoughts I have of him, but hopefully more time will heal the hurt. Hope you can salvage your marital relationship before it gets out of control, and it doesn't take much if its on a rocky road to begin with. Just be careful and try to keep things in perspective. Wishing you all the best!!

ivlakegal

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 3:04pm
Yes. It is cheating.

She isn't telling her husband. This is a form of cheating. She is clearly ill at ease, or she wouldn't have written dear abby/prudence/whatever. So, her actions have led to her own discomfort. In this sense, she is cheating on herself, as well as her husband, because she has devalued something she used to value more (her marriage).

It is a tangled web, as too many here know too well.

"Covet not..." It is one of the big 10 for a reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 3:41pm
Bird!!!!!

How are you?!? Hope you're doing well...I haven't been on the board much lately until today...

Anyhow, we haven't always seen eye-to-eye on some things, but I've always found your posts refreshingly candid. And you've given me some advice that I have held on to and often reflect on. In other words, I'm glad I ran across this post. It made me LOL. And it reminded me of how glad I am that I found this board. Thanks!

take care,

sambagita

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 3:44pm
Yep, she's cheating...

Clearly. It doesn't take a sexual act to be commit adultery. She's in the middle of the "will we or won't we" stage. i'm willing to bet that some of our "best" memories of XMM or XOM or XMW or XOW comes from that stage of the relationship?