It does get better...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
It does get better...
3
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 3:40pm
Well, I think it's finally happening. I am getting over MM. It's been five weeks since he destroyed me by ending our relationship and although there were a few slip ups on breaking NC on my end... it's been almost two weeks since we last spoke, and I wanted to let you all know that it DOES get easier. Every day, you will think of them less and less. When thoughts of them enter your head, just think of the bad things, the pain they caused you. You HAVE to feel that pain to get past this. Trust me, I never thought I would. MM and I loved eachother. We knew eachother for many, many years and even though this time we were only together a few months, it was very intense, emotionally and physically. And he ended it, without so much as caring enough to have a mature discussion with me about our future. It could have ended better, more civil, but he chose to be a selfish d*ck and when he decided it was over, well then, it was over. And he wouldn't hear anything about it. He wouldn't let me cry, because, well, that made him feel bad. HIM, it was all about HIM, and I have realized that over these last few weeks.

I am proud to say he called me today and our conversation lasted exactly 59 seconds. When it became apparent to him that I had nothing to say, he said goodbye. A couple of hours later, he called back, to tell me that if I just never wanted to speak to him ever again, I should let him know, so then he wouldn't bother to call me. I informed him, that had he paid ANY attention to the last email I sent him (two weeks ago) that he'd know that I needed this time of no contact to get past this, and that speaking to him only set me back. But, as usual, when HE had time to talk to me, he called, and he was obviously not happy that I didn't jump with excitement over it. Oh, well.

So, ladies, just know it DOES get better. Listen to everyone here, and stick with the NC. It doesn't have to be forever if you don't want it to be, but give yourself that time. Time to break the habit of him. It gets easier and you will get over him, you really will. I was hopeless, broken and I never thought this day would come. AND, the thing I am most proud of is that, I tried reconnecting with my husband, and it hasn't worked, and he and I have been really having major problems - not ONCE did I run to MM. That, for me, is something I would always do. And I didn't this time. So, now I know, I am getting over him. And I know I can be in control of how things are - not HIM.

Stay strong, everyone! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! I know, as I have just seen it!

Hugs,

NYC

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 9:26pm
Congratulations and welcome back to the land of the
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 9:48pm
You go NYC!

Remember this feeling, bookmark your post and never let that feeling go.

You are strong, you can cope, and you don't need anyone else to do these things for you or give you permission.

You ARE in control of YOURSELF. You're the Captain of your very own ship, hon, and that ship will go exactly where you plot your course.

Wishing you strength & peace,

Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:43am

YAY NYC!!!!


That is such great news!!! Congratulations, girl...you are on the way!!!!


XOXO

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby