Is it easier to end when youre married?
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Is it easier to end when youre married?
| Sat, 11-06-2004 - 10:04am |
I'm just curious to know, since I'm a newbie and don't know you all yet, does it seem easier for the people who have husbands or wives, to end their affair, knowing that they still have someone waiting for them, or does it seem to be just as painful for everyone? Being that I'm single, I find myself wondering what to do with my time now that I'm not with him or talking to him on the phone a thousand times a day. I almost feel I could get through it easier if I had a marriage to work on, but since I'm not in that position, I really have no idea. Just curious!

In response to your question, "NO" it is not much easier because there is someone waiting for you (a spouse). In fact, after the ending of the affair, I feel MUCH WORST...
In reality I wanted (and still want) to be alone, to think about what I have done. To be honest, I do not want a man touching me after the FIASCO (affair). Just want to find myself. Is it fair for my husband to wait until I find myself? Absolutely not, have to let him go...explains why it is worst to be married after the demise of a relationship.
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It struck me that this was a justification I used myself for awhile. It's a load of old hooey, too, by the way. Why is it hooey? I cannot expect anyone else to fulfil or complete me and no one else is responsible for me being a happy bunny. That's an enormous burden to place on someone elses' shoulders and it is invariably doomed to failure as the beast of burden becomes overladen with ever increasing demands to fill an ever increasing void. Whatever is lacking is something within the affair partner him or herself.
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Good! You are well underway when you can answer the following question:-
What part of me needs this man so I can feel good about myself?
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How much of your husband's distance is because you've pushed him away from you? When's the last time you initiated a discussion with him? Or threw him a smile for no reason at all? Or told him you need a hug? Or that he looked like he could do with a hug himself?
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie
Hi Pal,
It depends on the circumstances, Personallly, NO IT IS NOT EASIER. Its difficult when you fall in love with the other person, and iin my circumstances thats what happened to me. I love both of these individuals My hubby and my ex OM. It is a struggle for me everyday.
Take Care
Laadybug