It ended today

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
It ended today
8
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 9:00pm
Today I ended a 6 year A I'm both sad and happy. I've been coming to this board and reading the post and getting strength I know this is the right move I just hope I can carry through with it and keep NC I've decided to train hard for a marathon figuring it will keep me busy and off the computer I just wanted to put my intentions in writing to help me along. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 6:59pm
You are off to a great start--adding another commitment will help a lot. My A ended 11 days ago and it's hard, but you can do it!!

Good luck and keep up the "no contact"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 8:57pm
Thanks NC is so hard. He was online today and I so much wanted to talk with him. But I didn't so its a small victory. Your doing great 11 days in the can!! We can and will do this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:54am
New to the post and wanted to tell you good luck! I am on day 7 today and its been a good one. Keeping busy is important. Did want to mention that if you have some way of seeing if he is online - remove it. It doesn't matter anymore! I know this from experience because I used to watch for my XMM's name too - it became an obsession that did me no good. I simply deleted his name from the buddy list...now he can do whatever he wants on the computer and I don't care (ok, I care, lets be serious I'm still in the early stages and I WANT him to call so I can ignore him....---hey I'm trying! and getting better everyday!) GOOD LUCK!

:) Frisco

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 9:05am
Good luck, I just ended mine too. I also watch to see if he's online (under a screen name that he doesn't know about), although I have no intention of contacting him in any way. I just want to see if he's looking for me or not. I guess we'll truly be "over them" when we just don't care anymore. I hope it happens soon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2004
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 9:12am
*****Today I ended a 6 year A I'm both sad and happy****

You will experience these conflicting emotions for a while, so understand this on those days where the sadness appears to be stronger. The *happy* part is due to the freedom of ending an unhealty relationship, allowing you to dump the garbage and travel lighter. NC can be difficult, but replacing the pain with something positive as you are doing, will reap huge benefits in the shortest period of time. Congrats on your decision and good luck with your follow-through.

CMG

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:08am


I dont know if congrats is the appropriate thing to say because I dont know the circumstances. I can tell you that today makes 14 days for me and I had one set back already. The pain of trying to cope is not easy. There will be good days and there will be bad ones. Remove anything from your e-mail that has to do with him. Its a start to a new beginning. Thats what I did when I broke NC. Today is a good day for me. I hope you are ok and I wish you lots of luck.

Here for u if anything.....

Take Care

Lady Bug

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:09am
Welcome! I'm a runner myself, and I totally, 100% agree with your approach to "leave it on the road." When I feel at my worst, saddest, loneliest, craziest, whatever, that's exactly what I do: go out and run as far and as fast as I can until I can't run anymore. It's so cathartic, like you sweat all the bad feelings right out of your pores. By the end, you're way too exhausted to have those intensely bad feelings.

And keep posting here. I haven't run a marathon since my kids were born, but I know I'll run one again. I'd love to hear about your training. Hang in there! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: sdnhcgm
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:20am
Thank you all so much. The advice and support is such a wonderful thing. After hiding my R with him for so long its nice to find others in the same boat.

I've deleted his address, and I'm on line only under an ID he does not have. So a couple of steps in the right direction.

Mo I don't run I walk. This will be my first marathon but I've wanted to do one for so long I'm married to a former athlete and I've traveled everywhere with him while he raced it's his turn to stay on the side lines and support my efforts. Each steps one closer to my goal and away from OM

Thanks again everyone I'll keep posting