It feels different...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
It feels different...
15
Sat, 04-10-2010 - 7:51am

Hi everyone,


Well where to start... I suppose by saying I couldnt or wouldnt stop because I was in love with this man... im married and he is single. But he needed me, he just hadnt realised it yet.....


So after several start/ stops i saw him last week, we talked , we laughed, we kissed... but it felt different


I knew i was no longer in love with this man (or the thought i was in love with

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 10:23am

Sunbean,


Welcome to EAS. I believe all of our journies are a little different and we all move at our own pace. I agree and know the feeling that when it's over, it's over. No sense in trying to resuscitate it. You sound amazingly strong and resolved. This is going to help you heal quickly....which isn't to say it's going to be pain free, unfortunately. However, the beauty--and I mean THE ABSOLUTE BEAUTY--of being a woman is that we really are very

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 4:05pm

Sunbeam -


Hello and welcome.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 7:27am

hi and thanks gal,


Yes it is a bit different with a single ap indeed.


It is so nice that people understand what I meant when I said that it feels different....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 7:32am

Hello Always


Many thanks for your warm welcome, and yes i agree all of our jounreys are a little different.


I maybe sound strong as this isnt the first ending.... the first one was dreadful, and I think once you have felt that you cannt feel as bad again... the first cut is the deepest as the saying goes.


I have forgiven myself, that maybe sounds big headed of me, but I have hurt myself soo much over the past I cannt do it anymore. The days of me weeping into my hands and not being able to get out of bed are over! I made a mistake and i will make this mistake right in my own way with everyone who doesnt know about it but who have suffered.


It is a long journey but one that I must take.


Love to you all


Sunbeam

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 9:45am
No ego involved in forgiving one's self. Only strength and humility. I'm glad you are able to get past your mistakes. We have to or we cannot heal properly. I understand about making things right with those who do not know. My H does not know about my A and I hope to always keep it that way. I feel bad enough for the the betrayal, but it would devestate him if he knew. He is too kind and loving to ever have to feel that kind pain for my own selfish actions. Wishing you strength and love on your journey. I'm glad you made your way to this board.
Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.

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