it gets easier
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it gets easier
| Fri, 01-21-2005 - 1:47am |
I am new to this board and thought i'd share with you my story.. Last June I ended an affair that was over 2 years long. When I was a teenager i met someone who blew me away as a person but i never dated for fear of screwing up our friendship. I am now married for almost 7 years and have 2 children. I 'found' him online and we began to email. He has a job that makes him move around the country every few months and soon he was in my neck of the woods. My H had stopped paying attention to me for a while, wanted me to be there, but didn't want to spend time with me when i was there. He was constantly playing his damn computer games. I explained to the OM I didn't want an affair but knew it was going to happen...sure enough..it began..i fell in love with him quickly and found plenty of excuses to see him. about 8 months later my husband and i moved. I was devastated. I was so in love with my OM. After i got here my OM told me FINALLY that i should be with him and how much he loved me. This was after I had thought several times of leaving my H for him but my OM never made it sound like he really wanted me to not to mention he there was an OW he had been interested in for ..he could be so hard to read sometimes..We continued to say we would only be friends only to have everything flare up again. I flew back home and met him for a weekend last May. It was one of the most amazing weekends of my life. After that I decided that is where i wanted to be..i finally got some guts..i came home and told my husband what i'd been doing..mainly to get him to end our marriage so it wouldn't fall on my shoulders. I called my OM to tell him what i'd done. My H told me he was going to fight for me. My OM once again could not tell me what he wanted and hesitated. I decided to stay with my H and told my OM it was over. It was SOOOOO hard at first..i could have even told you how many weeks it'd been since i talked to my OM. Suddenly, one day I realized that i had no idea how many weeks it'd been since we talked. I'll be honest...it still hurts sometimes..but not like it did..i don't cry over it anymore..i can't..when i've just needed to cry i have thought about it and the tears just don't come...I realize this was for the best..even though i was THE best thing to ever happen to my OM i realize that it would have NEVER worked out with us..at all..getting rid of all the things that reminded me of him helped tons..lotions, cologne, pics, emails..EVERYTHING...i decided to change my life for the better..become healthier, put all the effort i'd been putting into my affair into my marriage which is now better than ever. I do have to admit though...songs always have and will remind me of him and right now it's kelly clarkson's since you been gone.. it describes it...every word...my years of lying and stress off my back..i am relaxed..it is in the open..and i'm not constantly worried about what i should do..stay with H or be with OM...
i just want you all to know who are wanting or trying to end it...it DOES get easier
i just want you all to know who are wanting or trying to end it...it DOES get easier
Signatures On
| Fri, 01-21-2005 - 3:20am |
Thanks so much for telling your story. I am going to email excerpts about it getting easier to my hubby who I caught cheating 2 weeks ago. I've been there 15 years ago on your side so I know it's hard at first but as it got easier I realized that was the worst time of my life and our marriage is so much more important. He asked for a second chance and he's got it, thanks again.
| Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:30am |
i'm glad to know you read my story and someone else understands..my H and I had totally began to take each other for granted..i hate to say that i had to have an affair to change that but i don't think we would have realized what we had and were getting ready to lose if i had not had the affair i did..good luck with you H
| Sun, 03-13-2005 - 10:48am |
Just wanted to bump up for those of you who have not read this...it really does get easier and you can do it if you want...i still have had no contact..don't miss him..and my husband and i just found out we are expecting our 3rd child..although this is a surprise....we are happy
