Well the day that I suspected would happen did a few days ago. I was in the hospital for all of Tuesday due to abdominal pain which felt worse then labor. Next day I was home recovering, still a little hung over from the morpheine they gave me. XOM messaged me asking if he could call later on that evening. At first I was going to ignore it. My heart was racing and I felt dizzy. I asked 'what for' and he said just to talk ...and then I did what i never did before....i typed in "NO"....that was it...a two letter word..but it spoke volumes and it even shocked me. He writes back "please" and i continue to ignore him. He said something like he just wanted to talk, and that he didn't blame me for not wanting to talk to him but when i was good and ready he would like to give me a chance to vent my frustration.....blah blah blah, he'd leave me alone if that is what I wanted. I just ignored. Then he said that he is up late if i change my mind. After that he shut up.
I can say alot of things about this whole incident, but the dominating emotion that I am feeling right now is shock and anger at his Chutzpah...The fact that he would even THINK that I would speak to him after all that he has done proves that he is mentally incompetent....He made it sound like he was doing me a favor. For the longest time I really wanted an opportunity to tear into him and release my frustration..but now he's not worth my energy. He is dirt......and I have proved to myself that I can continue on with NC. I guess things didn't work out with his other married woman so he's sniffing around here like a dog...well get lost Fido.
I feel empowered. I am sad, but I feel empowered. thank you ladies and germs on this board for being so wonderful.
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Jazzdiva
What is it lately with folks jumping on your but? I think it's pretty darn rude. I just think they are crazy! I hope you don't stop posting here because of a few rude people. I hope everything turns out the best for you and I still think your doing GREAT!
My two cents:
I'm all into free speach and speaking your mind...BUT... there is something known as TACT. TACT should especially be used when dealing with people that are having ISSUES! NOT everyone is equiped to deal with "tough love." YOU only take "tough love." well from people you LOVE... and that is why it is call such...
Back to She's
You know I still support you and I hate that you are defending yourself here all the time.. it is totally wrong....
HUGS to you...and I love it when you report everyword! Gives me good info in case I ever go through it...and it makes me wonder if all germs tell the same LIES!
KATJA
GB2
People can jump on me all that they want, I am very proud of myself at how I handled this thing from day one.....and nobody is going to rain on my parade!
Thanks for your support Kat...love ya
Jazzdiva
You are amazing.... and don't let anybody tell you otherwise!!!! This is really, really, really hard work. There is never anything easy about dealing with strong emotions. You are one tough cookie.... I'm onto day 5 NC AGAIN... and this is a real inspiration to me! When I wrote my post about the black boots was it you who said I should keep them.... do you remember that one?
CG
I also wanted to say that I hope you feel better. I have PCOD, and get ovarian cysts often too, but like you mostly when I am under a lot of stress. I'm so sorry you had that one and I hope you are feeling better.
Thanks again for your support of me this whole time!
****HUGS****
~Serenity
thanks for your kind words.
Jazzdiva
I'm just a girl, that fell in love with a boy, and asked him to love her. (thats a scene from Notting Hill with Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant by the way! I changed it around a little to suit my needs..LOL)...
But honestly, I am not this strong person. In fact I am very fragile and that is why I cannot have this man in my life anymore. I have to do what I am doing in order to protect myself and prevent myself from any more anguish and hurt. He cannot have my heart anymore. When I feel myself becoming "soft" I just think of him and this other woman and them talking about me and mocking me behind my back. If i were to have contact with him it would be to rip him a new butthole, but that would just get me emotional and take up my energy. I have bigger fish to fry, like try and rebuild the life I was running away from. Boy, when I think how ready I was to start a new life with this man that is so not worthy of me......scary scary stuff!
I'm sending you hugs right back, and praying for your healing.
Jazzdiva
About the boots.... today it was senior kindergarten christmas concert at our children's school. My middle daughter and XMM's son are in the same class. W doesn't know we have the same boots... but I do. So I wore them to the christmas concert because I knew they would both be there.... she had on her boots too (how quaint). I made sure I stood right in their sight range so they couldn't miss me. You should have seen the look on both their faces.... their jaws dropped, but for different reasons. Hey, I'm entitled to wear whatever I want, whenever I want right? ;) I would have loved to hear that conversation on the way home in the car.... how about you!!! I'm having fun now!
CG
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