It must be in the air.. Newbie trouble. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
It must be in the air.. Newbie trouble. :(
16
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 11:53pm

Week 6 is here and I can honestly say it's not much better than week 5. The last few days I've been bombarded with triggers that bring him right up front over and over again! It's uncanny! This whole time a have known that breaking NC would not only hurt me, make me look pathetic etc.. But it would be taking a final gift I gave to him. But then I'm like screw that what he ever do for me?!?!? Mire than ever I'm "white knuckling it", as someone said in another post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 4:55pm

Really great post trandscended.us, so truthful. What we do when we have an A is that we destroy innocent ppl. We destroy M and ppl who didn't sign up to be hurt. Our selfishness to get what we need at any cost no matter who it hurts brings out evil in us and makes us think only about ourselves and what we want. It destroys us to be in an unforbidden relationship in the end and turns us and our AP into something ugly and insecure. It really doesn't matter if his W is a b*tch, she is his W and he has chosen to not D her and well as you have chosen not to D your DH. Sneaking around having illicit s*x is not the answer to a bad M, it only pull us further down into the abyss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 6:06pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 1:23am

Hi Chechi

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 2:05am
DEAD ON, TU. dead on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 9:39am

Chechi- I feel your pain too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 1:51am
Its been another NC week since I wrote this. I must have read your responses 100 times in the last few days. I'm really trying to process all the things I wrote. But mist importantly I want to say thank you for such thoughtful replies and while it felt cathatrtic to just pour everything out i also want you to know that your words have helped me get one more week NC under my belt. It IS a gift I'm giving him damit!! Yay me! And it is nice to think that he cares enough to leave me be too. I'm gonna trust y'all on that one.

Been turning more if my attn. To H and RL and its paying off. It's been a good week and had a great weekend with H. You know, he went out at 11 pm one night to put gas in my car for me? I didn't even know until I was looking for him and my son told me. He's a keeper. That's just one little thing in a great week of him coming home early, asking me to lunch etc..

Anyway... It's been nice for a change and I am so appreciative, of everyone.

xoxoxo
Chechi

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