It is over and it hurts......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2009
It is over and it hurts......
17
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 6:04pm

Ended an intense A, mostly EA

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2009
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 6:18pm

Trusted,

Welcome to this community. I think your words ring true for many of the people here. They certainly do to me. I'd like to give you a big hug. You must be feeling a bit lost and alone right now, but please know that you have a veritable army of wonderful souls here, ready to help you cope with this.

You have taken a wonderful, positive and happy step forward You've ended! :-) That takes such a lot of strength. If you can, take a little bt of pride, honour, hope and happiness from that strength which is within yourself.

From here on in, it will be a matter of taking each day as it comes. I also want to tell you it is going to be *ok*. And it will be in the end. But, there'll be very, very sad and tough times. And we're going to be here for you, to help you through those moments.

((hugs))

LT

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 6:23pm

Welcome trusted,


You are on the road to recovery and yes there is a lot of pain and hurt that you will go through. It does get easier with time.


Have you had an opportunity to read posts in the "Healing Library"? If you scroll down, it is near the bottom of the page.


There are many posts there that explain why the friends thing doesn't work and also it gives tips for people who are limited contact with xAP.


Again, welcome and please continue to post to let us know how your progressing.


E1

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2009
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 6:29pm

Thanks so much for the hugs...I needed those today. I am embarrassed to admit this but we have been on and off for over 3 years. It is difficult for me to look back on all of the wasted time. We have both ended things between us numerous times over the years only to end up back in the same place we started

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2009
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 6:38pm
Thank you and yes I have read the healing library. I have been lurking a long, long time. For some reason today I needed to write down how I was feeling. I know in the end I will be okay but it just is difficult to feel this way...empty and have to live and function in my real life with my H and kids. I do have very limited contact at this point with xMM....if it is a text or email it is just to say hi...but I am at the point that I can finally see that there is no point to sending or receiving those messages. We do see one another at parties and around town but it is not often. So I am L/C thankfully. I know exactly what I need to do, I've been in T and MC, I just need to do it already and stick to it. He just has manipulative ways of sucking me back in and then always spits me out....and runs away.....that is his game....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 7:15pm

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. It will feel at first like you are just going through the motions...almost roboticly. It's almost like you have to force yourself to move on. That is very normal and it will help get your mind back on track.


Have you read

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2009
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 8:58pm

Welcome to EAS, I'm sorry your in pain but am sending you *hugs* today.

 

              &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 10:15am

Welcome Trusted, and congratulations on ending your affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 4:12pm

Hi and welcome to EAS;


you'll find wonderful advice from vets (and tweeners and newbies- PLEASE chime in even if you think someone has already answered/addressed a post!).

CL-Lovely Starr

"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2009
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 7:31am

I think b/c we have ended and began this A so many times , that now when I say that I am ending it,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 12:23pm

hey trusted- i posted some under the poll/board quiet thread and i hope this clears up stuff for all here.


honey, you are not the first poster that has thought they could still try the friends route and you wont be the last. but, hear this: A's NEVER end with two people shaking hands, smiling and going back to the place they were before they got themselves into their mess in the first place.


there are many posts about the friends thing, below, in the healing library- or do an advanced search.


i know you are trying to make the best of a bad situation. but forget the liking each other friends stuff.

CL-Lovely Starr

"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h

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