It really does get better!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
It really does get better!
5
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 2:30am

I just wanted to offer some encouragement to those of you whose A has just ended. Mine ended 6 months ago, with 4 months now of NC. The first few weeks were total hell! My pride and what was left of my self respect got me through. That, and the knowledge that I was the one who ended the A, and started NC. I'm sure he thinks he ended things...LOL!

I found some pics I had of xMM, as I was looking at them it all seemed very surreal and far away. It's almost like they were pictures of a stranger! And this was someone I thought I was soooo in love with! Now, I'm not sure that I even know what love is. I still think of him everyday, but just last week I realized that the memories don't hurt anymore. I'm almost indifferent to them. I don't care anymore about what he's doing, or wonder if he thinks of me. I'm sure he does. I don't worry anymore WHAT he thinks of me. That was a big one for me! He seemed to be the one person whose opinion of me I valued...duh!

For those of you trying to work on your M, if you want them to, those feelings for your spouse can come back. I moved back in with mine, and slowly but surely, the feelings are coming around. Everyday I see just how lucky I am to have my H. A man whose ACTIONS speak louder than all xMM's words ever could!

Just give it time, and you really will see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like once the true healing starts, the changes come fast!

Sorry for the long post, and thanks for listening.

Owl




Edited 5/15/2005 2:33 am ET ET by owl2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 1:21pm

Congratulations. The fog has cleared.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 2:07pm

Yes it has. Things look and get better everyday!!

Owl

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2005
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 3:35pm
deleted...


Edited 5/15/2005 3:59 pm ET ET by out_you_go
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 7:13pm
Your post is just what I needed to read. Right now I dont' feel like it will ever go away! I have a wonderful H and why was I so willing to throw it away? Lust?? Thanks for the encouragment!

Chris    <?xml:na

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 7:19pm
Owl,
That is wonderful to hear and I am very happy for you!! I have only had one month of NC now- (Though I've been working at getting over him over a four year period of on and off again/so i feel like i'm further than just one month).. I found out that EXMM won't be attending the event I'm going to this summer, that i had been concerned about. I am relieved. I can just enjoy myself now. I am very indifferent to EXMM..and feel glad about that. I totally identify with what you said about dh's actions meaning so much more than exMM's words.. that's true for me too.. in so many ways!