Is it rebound or REAL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Is it rebound or REAL?
19
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 4:33pm
I'm new at this, so, bear with me.

About 3 months ago, the love of my life left me because he was scared of a relationship, scared to get hurt. Well, his best friend comforted me. One thing led to another, and now he's saying he loves me. I feel great things for him, but there is one problem. He's engaged. When guy #1 found out about me and his friend through guy #2's fiance, he was mad. However, I didn't care any longer about guy #1's feelings, I was more concerned about guy #2's feelings. What do I do? Should I wait it out to see if guy #2 is being honest when he says he wants to leave his fiance, or should I get out of the whole thing? What is love worth? Or is it rebound? or do I just sound desparate?

HELP!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 9:05am
Wow. Life is strange. Last night, the guy went out with his best man and groomsman and told them about me. Kinda shocked, bc his groomsman is my ex. I think the answer to my question is REAL. I can't explain it, but it is. Something just hit me like a ton of bricks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 11:43am

Whoa, nelly!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 4:35pm
I guess I said that because he told them about me, and said he was thinking of calling off the wedding. There is just a big mess here. Hey, he's fair game until he's gone. I sound horrible, but love is blind. He may not chose to be with me, but I'm following my heart, and I can say I tried. Right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 4:57pm

Sorry, but I don't see it that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 8:09am
But you really haven't tried, have you?

These are his best friends. You weren't there. You don't know exactly what was said, do you?

I'm a guy. If my best friend & I got together for a beer, I might would mention the great rack on the waitress at lunch. Doesn't mean a thing. I've known guys to be very very open w/ other guys about their sexual "conquests".. Doesn't mean a thing.

I cannot recommend NC any more strongly. Again.

(and you're following your heart?! I thought you were at the point where you were tired of him?)

This has gotten to be an odd thread. I'm out. Parting thoughts, one last time-

1- No Contact

2- Slow down & get your head together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 9:19am
I guess I'm just more hopeful and do not live in reality. And I've been on the other side of the triangle. Thanks for the advice. I just really don't know what to do with myself. I'm not usually this dumb. But everyone keeps telling me to follow my heart. Follow my heart. What exactly does that mean? I'll take a break. IF he comes back, he was meant for me, if not, he wasn't. I'm not going to live my life for him. I want to live it for me. I know I deserve better, but it seems that because of my past, I don't acquire better. I'm not fat, ugly, mean, or even ordinary. I am just a girl who wants to fall in love. IS that so bad? I want to get married, be committed to one person for eternity. Laugh, even when it's just me and him. He gave me a glimpse of that. That's what hurts. That's what I'm not letting go of... my own dreams. I guess it's only a dream, and won't come true.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 4:53pm
Ya know what? I am young, single, and I do want to get married. I have been asking people I know who are happily married if they had doubts months before the wedding. They said if they had doubts, they would not have done it. I thought I was crazy, because I thought I was selfish and not wanting him to marry her. Then I thought, "Is this waht it takes to get married?" Well, I guess I know where that will end up. Anyhow... you are right. I think I just wanted to fall in love. I mean, he won't be any different to me. Just different people. It could be Lucy and Ethel who were the two women, and he would be doing the same thing
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:24am
I've taken myself out of the situation. It's much better now. thank you for your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 2:17am
i think it would depend if i would wait around are they in the planning stage have the cake already haha or just a ring and a far off date not yet set,, if you feel you love him and he you,, i might wait and see how it all plays out,, engaged does'nt mean married,,

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