It's 2 months since THE day....(m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
It's 2 months since THE day....(m)
5
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 2:47pm
I just realized that it is 2 months today that our A was discovered. Time really flies. I can honestly say though that today I am in a much better place then I was February 21. Sometimes my thoughts & feelings regarding him are still jumbled, but I honestly don't think I could allow him back in my life at this point if I were given the opportunity. I heard through some friends the other day that he is groveling (trying to make things better by offering to buy a new home for them) Hello?? Does he honestly think that will make everything better? This just shows me the kind of man he really is...desperate and sad..and I deserve much better than that! Have a great day ladies!

Cin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 3:15pm
You are doing so well...stay strong!!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 6:34pm
Cin

Congratulations - isn't it amazing to hit a month or 2 (or 4) and realize that time actually does go on... And you DO deserve much better than you got in the affair - and I KNOW you will find it now that you are rid of him...

Glinda

Avatar for crystal_clr
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 6:55pm
Good for you!!!

I know it must have been a tough 2 months and it helps me a lot to know that others really do 'get over' these kind of relationships. Keep walking Cin!

PS. You're so right, a new house won't do it.

Avatar for guardedticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 10:18am
This brings up something that I marvel about every single time the subject is addressed. I simply cannot fathom why a man is raised to believe that what is most important is being a provider and they live with that notion until they are old enough to know they aren't going to turn another woman's head and realize that they need to get love and be loved deeply, with heart and soul. I have a very close friend of mine who is in his 60's who literally told me he wished he knew when he was 40 what he knows at his age now; about how very important the love relationship between he and his wife was; how he wishes he didn't have to think back and look at his wife in wonder of how she actually put up with him. I truly believe part of our job (and many of us don't do it because we are fearful of looking like the nagging wife) to teach our men how important a loving relationship truly is and that being the provider of their household is very surface in the big scheme of things. You don't want to lose sight of its importance or make them feel stupid but you do have to get it through to them that even though being the provider should be of importance to them, it does not take priority over how he treats his wife in the process. There is never any excuse for putting job ahead of wife and family...ever. So Cin, you hit the nail on the head when you said the MM is seeing about buying his W a new house....well more power to them but that big new house isn't going to fix what made him betray his marriage vows in the first place. All he is doing is trying to bandaide the situation and I assure you it will fester.

When all is said and done in life, we cannot take a new house with us to our grave. But the love we have given and received will be with us for an eternity.

Hugs lady ~ you've got a handle on what is truly important so when the right one comes along who also has a handle on it, your married life will be just that much easier.

GT

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 7:41am
You are doing much better than me!

It has been almost 3 months. We talk every day (several times), we've been to lunch twice, and I think of him ALL THE TIME.

If he asked me, and agreed to my terms, we'd be back together in a heartbeat.

I admire your strength. Keep it up.