It's been months and it still hurts. . .
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| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 4:01pm |
There has been a little connection between us the last few months--here and there--and a few sweet words said. But i happen to work with him, and in some regard for him, on a project we are working on--and that is all i hear from him about now. He seems, and i will never know this for sure, that he has set his sights on another married woman that is married to another man in the organization we work for. That hurts--i am guessing my relationship with him was part of a pattern. I always thought it meant so much more. It's very, very painful.
On top of it, when i returned from a summer beach house last Sept. 1, i discovered that my husband was very deeply in love with another woman. When I fell in love with my MM i started slipping further and further away from my husband and this only opened the door, apparently, to him reaching out to another woman. This continued until Dec. 1 when i asked that he had no contact with her. We are working on things, but the problems are so deep--that i don't think any of it is solveable. I go back and forth everday.
So when these two things combined, i am in a terribly bad place and have been for months now. I am seeing a therapist and taking something for depression and anxiety.
I need this place to give me strength when i want to reach out to my MM and call him or email him. I am on day 6 of limited contact.
Clarice
