It's been over a year since........

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
It's been over a year since........
2
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 6:39pm
I last saw Mike. In that year, I've been more depressed than ever, can't seem to make a goal and stick to it, gained all the 45 lbs. back that I had lost before meeting him, and basically have a crap attitude. And when I think of him it still hurts alot. He could never say sorry enough.......

How do I get unstuck?

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 12:04am
Hi Lisa,

I don't have any "wonderful advice" or the golden key to help you,but i certainly DO know how you are feeling.My Affair ended 14 months ago and it still hurts.It's not as strong or as painful as those first horrible days/months..but it does still come back alot.OM and i shared songs alot and now,i can't even listen to music without memories fogging my mind.I think we made love to every song out there.It's hard and there are still days i feel like a dagger is slowly piercing my heart and soul.Some days i want to see him so bad,hear his voice,call him..etc..but i know i can't.Nothing good could ever come of it.I know i loved him deeply,and probably will ALWAYS have a place for him in my heart,but i'm trying to let go and move on.If you've ever heard the song "My Immortal" by Evanescense(think that's how it's spelled)...i think one part of the chorus is so very true..."There's just too much that time cannot erase"...i think in so many ways i might never "heal" totally and completely.Maybe i'll always wonder and think of him,maybe i'll always have moments when i go back in time and miss him and everything we shared,i might always have days when i cry for what "might have been"...i guess only time will tell.But i DO know this much...i have a husband that loves me with all his heart and HE is what true love is,HE is where i belong and where i will always remain from here on out.I am still trying to get "unstuck" myself,Lisa so i know how it hurts.All we can do is hang on and hope and pray for the best...God Bless you and i'm here if you wanna talk!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:05am
Getting "unstuck" is a long, tough process, Lisa. I'm not very familiar with your username, I wonder how often you've been posting here. Maybe it would help you to participate regularly in this community. It has helped me tremendously, just knowing that there's a group of folks here who understand how difficult it is to get over having an A. Come here and tell your story, over and over if you have to. Sometimes sharing diffuses the feelings. Have you ever heard that saying, "pain shared is pain lessened?"

The other thing, and I do feel badly suggesting this, but from your post I wonder whether the depression is something that might require some professional help. Depression is a tricky thing - I suffer from it myself. It can totally distort your perspective. Rather than focusing on Mike, why not focus on yourself? I know you said you've not been able to meet your goals lately. It might be something to talk to a professional about before it swallows up your life. Just my .02, for whatever its worth.

Talk to us, honey. We're here for you. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10